Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Sep7

Parenting Fail

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Dear Bean,

I’m never, ever taking you grocery shopping again.

Ever.

I say that every week, yet every week I end up taking both you and Scorch because I’m too lazy to go on Friday night. This weekend I came well prepared. We hit up Dunkin Donuts before going and I got you and your brother a batch of Munchkins to eat. We got to the store early enough to ensure we could get one of the coveted “Car Carts”- the shopping cart with a car in front that you both can fit into.  The lure of donuts + the car cart kept things going smoothly for the first portion of our trip.

Then you got bored, so you started leaning your head out of the cart. I kept reminding you to put your head in the cart so you don’t get hurt.

Do you see where this is going?

As we were strolling down the cleaning items aisle, an older man came barreling down towards us clearly not paying a bit of attention. So I quickly yank the cart (which is about a quarter wider then a normal cart) over to the side and park it to avoid a collision.

What I didn’t do is make sure your head was in the cart.  And it wasn’t.

You screamed the store down. The end result was a scratch that started above your left eye brow, then picked up again on your nose and went under your other eye half way to your ear.  I still have nightmares thinking about what would have happened if your eye was hit.

So I’m saying it now and I’m saying it publicly- I’m never taking you grocery shopping again.

Love,

Your mommy, who feels terrible still.

Sep3

Lucky

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I read. A lot. I read an average of a book every 2-3 days. If it’s really good, I’ll inhale a book in a day. I’ve even been known to put the kids in front of the TV on a perfectly nice day just so I could read while they are getting their brains sucked out.

You can direct me to my Mother of the Year award any time. 😉

Since I work online 8.5 hours a day, I also read a fat ton of blogs. I have a dozen or so I read daily, but then I meander. Someone links to a blog, who links to a new blog, who links to another blog and I follow that bunny trail where ever it leads.

And man- there are some *amazing* blogs out there. People who have overcome so much. People who just lead the most interesting lives. People who are so creative them make my teeth hurt. People who make the world a better place.

And then there is me.

I haven’t overcome much- 3 years of infertility and 3 miscarriage were *huge* at the time. But now, they are a distant memory, thank goodness. My life is as laid back and boring as they come. The best thing I’ve ever created were my kids. I work to make my world better, but I’m nobody special.

And you know what? I’m ok with that. I’m blessed and so so lucky to lead the life that I do. To live my boring life in my little town with the Hubs and the kids. This is the life I always wanted and it makes me happy. I may not have a dramatic story to tell, but I do have two healthy kids to love up on.

I’m lucky.

Sep1

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Almost)

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Dear Scorch-

One week from tomorrow you start school again!

Thank. God.

You’re only going 5 half-days a week, but you need to get back to school. Last year you only went 3 half days a week and you loved it. And man, did you just explode academically and socially!  This summer you missed your friends, you missed playing with them and I think you even missed learning.  I told us how bored you were at least once a day every day this summer.  Good times.

Last night we went to an Ice Cream Social at your school and got to meet your new teacher. She seems wonderful as does her full time assistant! You’re in the same class as your BFF so you are thrilled!

Me? Well, I’m a little worried. See, there are 26 kids in your class. Twenty. Six.  That is a lot of 4 year olds- especially since 16 of you are boys.  Your teacher is either going to be batshitcrazy by the end of the year or eligible for sainthood.

I’m trying not to let the number of kids in your class stress me out too much. But I’m a mom, stressing out over you and Bean is what I do best.  Will you get enough attention? Will you be OK socially with that many kids? Last year your class had 18 kids- only 5 of which were boys. Watching you navigate THAT stressed me out- add in 8 more kids and triple the amount of boys and I may have a nervous breakdown. What if you struggle this year academically- will the amount of kids in the class hinder you from getting the help you need?

I may or may not have been up at 2 am googling classroom teacher to student ratios and thoughts on class size because I couldn’t sleep.

But, I love your school. I love the community there. So I’m willing to give this a go and see how things turn out. I have faith in this school and, more importantly, I have faith in you. You’re going to rock this school year, little boy.

Love,

Mom (who is very tired today)

Aug31

Freedom!

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My parent took the kids for an overnight on Saturday. It. Was. Heaven.

It was so nice to have a conversation with the Hubs that wasn’t interrupted constantly.

It was so nice to go out to dinner, then a movie and then for drinks because we didn’t have to be home at any set time.

It was so nice to come home and be as loud at we wanted with no fears of waking the kids.

It was so nice to sleep in until 9 am, then read in bed for another 30 mins b/c I didn’t have to get up for *anything.*

It was so nice to go the gym and exercise and then go grocery shopping b/c I didn’t need to come home and relieve the Hubs so he could do his thing.

It was so nice to go into Scorch”s room and clean it out without him screaming that some random piece of trash was his favorite thing in the world and I was so mean.

It was just so nice. Period.

I’m hoping my parents will take the little buggers monthly!

And it was so nice to bring them home!

Aug26

Funny People…

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Or kids.

So I’m driving the kids home today from the park and Scorch is throwing a total fit because I won’t let him watch a DVD in the car. You know, for the ride that is a total of 5 minutes long. ::roll eyes::

So he’s carrying on- crying, yelling and basically telling me how he’s the boss of me and I need to do what he wants me to do. Period. End of discussion. I’m ignoring him which is only ticking him off more so he started telling me how I’m so mean to him.  And, for good measure, he likes Daddy so much more then me. I think- he wasn’t really talking sense at that point.

So Bean, who is only two and must be smarter then I give her credit for, starts yelling “I love you, Mommy!” over and over.

At this point, Scorch turns off the tears on a dime and goes “Wait- what am I crying about again?”

Yeah kid- what are you crying about again?

Aug25

Cha-cha-changes

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So life in the Wickedly Crazy Awesome (WCA) house has been in turmoil the past 24 hours.

The Hubs job has a lot of pro’s to it, but the two biggest cons are (1) lack of planning and 2) lack of consideration for families) can make life a tad bit difficult. We know due to the Hub’s job we’re going to have to move- we were told we’d have to report to a new location in Aug 2011.  We could deal with that.  Scorch could have one more full year at his kick-ass school and start a new school for Kindergarten and the Bean could start preschool in our new city.  So, while still a crappy situation- that is the least crappy timing for us.

But…we were told yesterday, Surprise- you have to move in March.

Not. Good.

BUT then today we were essentially told “whoops- just screwing with you! We don’t know when you’re moving anymore!”

That sound you heard? It was my head exploding.

Aug24

No, Thank You!

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This past weekend my amazing mother-in-law (MIL) came to help out as the Hubs recovered from his surgery. My MIL spoils my kids rotten- a tradition they all love!  And let’s face it, my kids don’t go without thanks to the Hubs and I either. We do make Scorch earn enough stickers doing various things throughout the house to get something extra special. But this summer was filled with a million big and little trips- each one requiring a souvenir according to the Hubs.

Unfortunately all this spoiling and the gluttony of things have turned Scorch into a child who only wants more. Yesterday at dinner I asked him what his favorite part about the day was. He said he didn’t have a favorite part because we refused to buy him the football he wanted.  Mind you- over the course of the weekend, he got 4 new pairs of shoes (including much coveted cleats), a new baseball glove, was taken to a Bounce House and countless parks and out to dinner each night.  So…yeah. Spoiled much?

I don’t mind getting these things because the Hubs and I usually only stick to the necessities and the fun stuff is only bought once Scorch has earned them or for holidays.  But what I do mind is his complete lack of gratitude.  And I don’t know how to teach him that at this age. Reasoning with him doesn’t work because he’s 4 and doesn’t get a lot of the abstract “there are starving kids in XYZ country- don’t you know how lucky you are?” conversation.  Do I take him to volunteer? Do I just keep talking to him and pray that this will finally click?

I’m at a loss! How did you teach your kids to be grateful?

Aug23

Not Me Monday!

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One of my dearest friends, the one who inspired me to start a public blog, does a post every Monday entitled “Not Me” where she admits to things she may or may not have done the previous week.  I always get a kick out of what she shares, so here’s mine:

> I did not put my child in time out- twice!- in the feminine hygiene aisle of the grocery store last week because she was out of control. My kids are always on their best behavior in public and would never, EVER, think of throwing fits, hitting me and screaming.  Old people did not stop and stare at us.  And I didn’t not want the earth to swallow me whole. Nor was I sweating profusely during the whole rest of our trip.

> I did not have to leave the room when the Hubs was throwing up after his surgery.  I was right their holding his head, whispering reassurances- I was not out in the hall trying not to puke myself.  I’m made of stronger stuff than that.

> I did not threaten to put 4 year old Scorch back in a crib to sleep because he woke up too early the other day and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I know better then to make empty threats after years of parenting, right?

> I did not count the minutes until my wonderful mother-in-law came this week to help me with the kids. When she got here, I certainly didn’t leave almost immediately for 2 hours of me time at the grocery store alone.

> I didn’t go to bed at 9:30 last night leaving the Hubs and my mother-in-law to watch a movie b/c I wanted to keep reading a good book that was much, much more interesting then the movie we were watching.  I was raised to be a better hostess then that!

Any confession you want to make?

Aug20

Blessings

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Dear Universe-

Today hasn’t been the best day in Chez Heather. The Hubs is not recovering as well as we had hoped from his surgery and that’s making life a little stressful.

But after reading the news about the devastating floods in Pakistan, I wanted to say thank you for a few things.

Thank you for the fact that while this surgery has stunk, this is the worst medical problem anyone in my immediate family has had in the past decade.  I’ll take 3 knee surgeries and 1 sinus surgery over 99.9% of the illness and sadness out there.

Thank you for the roof over our head. The house may need some repairs that I’m not looking forward to paying for, but we’re not in danger of losing our home like those poor people dealing with floods all over the world.

Thank you for the gorgeous days we’ve had lately. Low 60s during the day and low 80s during the day is pure perfection in my book.

Thank you for the riches of books I’ve had to read lately.  There is nothing I like more then a good book to lose myself in after a long day.

Thank you most of all for happy, healthy little people running around our house. I do love them.

Love,
One blessed lady

Aug19

Sorry, Kiddo

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Dear Scorch-

Today your dad had sinus surgery. I spent the day at the hospital with him, then came home, got him settled and took you and Bean out to dinner and to the grocery store so we were out of Daddy’s hair. We had a great time at dinner- you had pancakes with sprinkles on them and then the three of us split a big hot fudge cookie sundae. Not one of our more nutritionally balanced meals, but it made us all happy and frankly there are nights when that counts for more then getting in veggies.

When we got home, your dad was sick. He was having a bad reaction to the anesthesia and running a fever of 104, with chills and vomiting thrown in for extra fun. And did I mention he was also bleeding from his nose- the nose he can’t breath out of because it’s packed with gauze?

So when you whined for one more book and were your usual slower-then-molasses-in-January self, I snapped at you and hurried you along. Then you asked me why I was mad at you all of a sudden.

Talk about making me feel like an asshole.

So, Bud, I’m sorry. You’re 4 now and you would have got it if I simply told you, “Dude, we gotta hurry because Daddy is sick and I have to take care of him” instead of getting exasperated and short with you. I should have taken the time to explain it to you. I should have told you “I love you” a few more times to make up for rushing through things.

Love,

Your mom, who hopes the only thing you remember from tonight is how awesome dinner with sprinkles & whipped cream can be.