Category Archives: My crazy life

Jun16

Home Invasion

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I may  have done the dumbest thing I’ve ever done today.

After Scorch’s baseball game today, we had plans to go to a friend’s parents house to go swimming.  The Hubs had to work, so it sounded like a perfect way to kill a lovely afternoon. When confirming the plans with my friend, she asked me if I knew where her parents house was. I told her I knew the street name and that it was the 1st or 2nd house on the right. She told me that we’d see her husband’s truck in the drive way along with her parents metallic van.  She said the garage would be open and to come on in if she didn’t answer when we knocked- she would be getting two kids ready for the pool so she may have her hands full.

Can you tell where this is going?

I turn onto her parent’s road and the first house on the right has a pick up truck the same color as her husbands in the driveway and a silver mini-van sitting in the open garage. Perfect- I got the house. I pull in, unload the kids and all our gear and head in through the garage. We knock, wait a minute, knock again and go in. We don’t see or hear anyone after yelling “hello” a few times, so we go to the back of the house thinking they are already in the pool.  Just as we’re looking out the back door, we hear an elderly man yell “hello” up the stairs.  So Scorch goes over to the stairs and yells down hi – but I got panicky because there isn’t supposed to be an elderly man at this home.  Just then, up the stairs comes a couple I’ve never seen before.

We are in the wrong house.

I apologize profusely (all while waiting for the earth to swallow me whole) while, thankfully, the owners of the house laugh and laugh over my idiocy. They could not have been any more gracious as I got my kids out of there as quickly as possible.

When we get outside we see our friends in front of the proper house looking equal parts shocked and hysterical over what I did. In my defense, the neighbors and my friends have nearly identical pickup trucks in the same rather odd color and they and my friends parents have the same van- one gold and one silver.  That said, I don’t care how long I have to wait any more, I’m never, ever letting myself in anyone’s house again until they come to the door.

Ever.

Apr24

One more thing…

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Last night I didn’t set out to write a “Don’t Ignore” post for National Infertility Awareness week.  I had planned on jotting down a few sentences and linking over to one of my all time favorite posts that talked a bit about our journey to having kids and calling it a day.

But the words just kept coming.  I surprised myself- as crazy as it sounds, I didn’t know I still harbored all those feeling. The anger and insecurity and fear and sadness.  9 years and two kids later, you think I’d be over that. I guess not.

So today I will leave you with that post I meant to share yesterday. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to kid’s antics and potty humor.

*~*~

This was written on Sept 23, 2010.

It was 5 years ago this week I found out I was pregnant with Scorch.

We started out trying to build our family feeling excited and nervous and oh so very confident that a pregnancy would just happen. We’re married and in love and have always gotten what we wanted by working hard and following the rules and that is whats supposed to happen. Only sometimes, it doesn’t.

6 months into trying, my very awesome doctor ran some tests on the Hubs and I. He was fine- all systems go. I had PCOS- I didn’t ovulate on my own which is must have when trying to get pregnant.

Enter the fertility drugs. One to manage the PCOS. One to stimulate egg growth. One to force me to ovulate. It took three cycles on Clomid- three months of hot flashes, mood swings and pure nerves to finally get pregnant a year and 3 months after we started trying.  You have never, ever met two more excited people! We were bursting with the news and picked out a gazillion different ways to tell our families each one more fun and creative then the next.

We told everyone right away never thinking things could go wrong. We’re married and in love and have always gotten what we wanted by working hard and following the rules and bad things aren’t supposed to happen. Only sometimes, they do.

After our 2nd miscarriage, we pulled out the big guns. We saw a specialist and got tested to see why we were experiencing repeat pregnancy loss. Again, the Hubs was perfect. I, on the other hand, have a blood clotting issue as well as a problem with my anti-bodies which made carrying a pregnancy to term next to impossible without some serious medical intervention.

Our 3rd miscarriage came after a few failed cycles using injectables and IUIs. I had given myself daily shots of Heparin, a blood thinner,  and still I lost that pregnancy.  I. Was. Done.  My life for the past 3 years had revolved around making babies and it had consumed everything- my thoughts, our marriage, my outlook on life. No more.  The Hubs and I had a long talk and sent away for adoption literature because I was not getting on the reproductive roller-coaster again.

God had other plans.

A month after my 3rd miscarriage, a good friend (hi, Cheri!) and I were spending the weekend shopping while our husbands were away on business.  We had big plans that night to go out to a great Italian dinner and split a bottle of wine- I couldn’t wait.  I had been having a few pregnancy symptoms and although I chalked them up to the miscarriage, I thought I should test. Just in case.

I found out I was pregnant with Scorch in the bathroom of Target.  Classy, no?

This time around we switched up the blood thinner I used (thank you, Lovenox!) and tried IVIg therapy to help with my auto-immune issues.  And miracle of miracles, the pregnancy stuck.

Which is a good thing because I cannot imagine life without this kid.

Feb22

Not Our Best Day

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So…today? Not a great day.

The kids were good as gold this morning. I remember sitting there patting myself on the back because they were being such angels. Since school is on break this week, they got to spend the day at their BFFs house (thankfully their BFFs are siblings the same age as my kids).  I received frequent texts throughout the day telling me what great guests my kids were, how wonderfully the kids were playing, what good manner they hand and on and on.

I picked my kids up 15 minutes before the mom had a phone call she needed to take for work. Before dropping the kids off that morning, I prepped them for that- they knew when I showed up we had to hustle out of there. They agreed to it- but as most things with kids, the theory works out a lot better then the practice.

When I showed up Scorch flat out refused to leave. He sat on the playroom floor with his arms crossed and big tears rolling down his cheeks- he wanted to stay and that was that.   Well, so sad for him because that wasn’t that.  After coaxing him off the floor, out of the room and down the stairs we had to pause for the Bean to put on her shoes. That’s when Scorch made a break for it- he wanted to play some more. *sigh*  So I got the Bean situated and out the door and then went to get Scorch. I kid you not when I tell you I had to 1) carry him out the door and 2) pry his fingers off the door jam as his sobbed and screamed that he didn’t want to go.

Hi! Mortification? So nice to see you again.

I set him down on the porch and the wild animal who replaced my son screamed at me “I hate you!” loud enough for the whole entire neighborhood to hear.  So- I did what any rational parent would do. I sat my kid down in the drizzle in the muddy grass and made him sit there in time out on our friends wet lawn while I got the Bean in the car. I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry at that point, so I just ignored him while I collected myself.

Unfortunately after that fun, we didn’t have time to go home. We had a bunch of errands to run that included a stop at the library. Thankfully Scorch pulled himself together by the time we arrived there because the Bean decided to assert herself. Some how, over night, the Bean lost her ability to whisper. So everything- everything- in the library was said as loudly as possible. If I asked her to lower the volume, she cranked it up a notch.  Thank goodness we were in the Children’s room and her volume wasn’t out of place, but the defiance just about killed me.

Between the scene at our friends house, the errands in between and our 45 minute stop at the library, I had already sweated through my t-shirt. But we weren’t done- oh no. We still had to go to Ash Wednesday Mass at the local college.

Due to the Hub’s work schedule, I was flying solo at this mass, something I try to avoid like mad. But it was this mass or not being able to go at all, so I sucked it up. I figured since it was a college campus, mass wouldn’t be crowded. Yeah- wrong. There was no parking, so by the time we found a spot we were running late.  We hiked it in the pouring rain to the chapel and realized after we got there that I forgot the kid’s backpack with all their church toys (coloring books, crayons, snacks, etc). I had nothing in my purse besides my wallet, tissues and empty gum wrappers- and I had to make all that entertaining enough to last us an hour.

So that’s how I sweated through my sweater all while playing RockPaperSissors with Scorch and having thumb wars with the Bean for 60+ minutes. Thankfully most college kids think little kids are cute and don’t seem to mind having their pews kicked, hair accidentally pulled and potty words sung out loud during Communion.

Tomorrow has got to be easier, right?!

Dec22

Holiday Cheer from the Sick House

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Today I got the dreaded call. As soon as I saw the school’s name pop up on the caller ID, I knew that one my kids were either hurt or sick. Honestly, I was hoping for hurt this close to the holidays.  But nope, it’s a sick kid who puked in the cafeteria.   Poor Bean.

I’ve documented a time or two my fear and loathing for all things vomit, but I thought I had done a good job keeping my anxiety to myself.  Not so much.  When leaving school, Scorch refused to walk within a 5 feet of the Bean and he flat out refused to get in the car  on the same side as her because sick people “creep” him out and he didn’t want to get puked on.  I think it’s safe to say that I may have scarred my kid out of a career in medicine.

~*~*~*~

We all spent Scorch’s 1st Christmas sick with a stomach bug. I got it the night of the 24th, Scorch the night of the 25th and the Hubs the morning of the 26th.  I’m really hoping that this year isn’t a repeat of that because that, frankly, was miserable.   There is nothing fun about having to cut your 6 month olds clothes off him because he’s crapped all the way up to his neck due to a stomach bug when you’re sick too.  Oh well- at least the kids are old enough to hit bucket now.

Dec20

My Christmas Wish(es)

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Here is what I’m really wishing for tonight:

> That my  kids remember the fun we had playing Rock, Paper, Scissors in the car and laughing hysterically when we all selected the same thing three times in a row.

> I hoping they don’t remember that we started to play after 15 minutes of complete silence in the car because we all lost our minds at Target this evening (Scorch after being punished for hitting his sister in the face with my phone, the Bean after running away and me after the Bean blew raspberries in my face when I got down to her level to talk to her about her bad behavior).  Yeah- we were that family today and it was awful.

> That Scorch isn’t too disappointed that the one gift he now suddenly wants above all others isn’t under the tree this year.

> That the kids remember how much fun we had making cookies for the school’s bake off last night.

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Sep25

The Big Meanie, That’s Me

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As I type this, Scorch is in his room crying and talking trash about me (calling me a Big Meanie, he thinks he’s being quiet).  He’s mad because he lost one of his stuffed animals for a week.  Why? Because of his behavior.   Ever since our major family blow up a few weeks back, we’ve implemented a new policy.  The rules are set- there are only a 3 really big ones and when you break them you 1) go in time out and 2) lose something.  So Scorch broke one of the rules earlier (he told his sister he hated her), so he immediately lost the dessert we were sitting down to eat.  That went over about as well as you can expect. So he and I had a conversation about learning from our mistakes and making better choices.  Yet 5 minutes later, he told his sister the same thing.  I asked him to please pick one of this stuffed animals off his bed as it was now mine for the next week.

Oh, the humanity.

The funny this is, the boy has at least 20+ animal on his bed and if I had gone in and taking Froggy away without telling him, he’d never know he was gone.  Maybe this time he’ll learn?

~~~~~~~~~~

I have no good excuse for not blogging lately- just a lot of minor ones.  A fall cold (thanks, Bean!), busy evenings (including a much needed mid-week girl’s night), spending some time with the Hubs (so nice to have him home most nights), and being in bed by 9:30 every night.  A few weeks back, I started working out back at the gym. I couldn’t go while Pete was gone this summer, but now that he’s home, I’m trying to go to bootcamp class 3x a week and spinning 2x a week- all of which require me to get up before 5 am. I realize a lot of people have to do that every day, but I don’t and holy crap that is the middle of the night. But I’m trying my hardest, so that means early bedtimes so I don’t fall over mid-day.  They damn well better pay off is all I have to say.

 

 

Aug15

Here

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I’m here- but barely.  Today marks Week 2 of working mandatory 12 hour days/ 6 days a week.  What I do isn’t terribly hard either physically or mentally, but I’m wiped out.  Being glued to the computer from 7 am – 7 pm looking as long spreadsheet when you’re not used to it is much more taxing then you’d think.

Because I had to work all day Saturday, my parents offered to take the kids that morning for an overnight (Total. Godsend.)  All was well until I got the call at 10:30 am yesterday saying that the Bean had a stomach bug.  So I wrapped up what I was doing (grocery shopping), took the dog to the kennel and moved myself down to my parents house so I had help with the kids today while I continued to work (I honestly have no idea if I get sick days right now, I don’t think so).

So- to recap. 12 hour work days + 1 sick, cranky, pathetic kid = my head exploding.  Also, I’m nominating my parents for sainthood.

***********

I wrote that post this morning and after a nice evening at my parents I was going to scrap it and write something sincere and full of gratitude for the great people in our lives. And I still may do that. But not tonight as I just took me 1.5 hours to get the Bean to bed. *sigh* I feel so badly for that little girl, but I really, really wish she’d stay in bed.

May26

Love Thursday: Lots to Love

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You’ll have to forgive me for not being able to come up with coherent post tonight.  It stormed last night, which meant I was up with Crazy, our dog, for 2 hours.  I’m tired- so let’s talk about the random things I’m loving right now:

1) The fact that So You Think You Can Dance starts back up today! That show is my guilty pleasure for summer!

2) The book Little Princes: One Man’s Promise to Bring Home the Lost Children of Nepal   I started reading this last night and can’t put it down- really well written and an amazingly compelling story.

3) This hot weather (which I will love even more when the Hubs puts in our air conditioning).

4) Shopping for a new-to-us car. I love car shopping- the research, the negotiating, the fun of figuring out what to get!  We are looking for mid-sized SUVs with a 3rd row if anyone has any suggestions!  The key- needs to be around or under $20K to stay within our budget.

5) That fact that I get to see Red, TBO & Baby Lala this weekend for Baby L’s baptism!  We’re spending all day Saturday with family, I have a pretty dress and my kids will get to have a ball with their cousins.

6) We’re finally thisclose to getting resolution on the Hub’s job situation- cannot wait for that!

7) The Hubs went back to work after being so sick today. Love that man, but it was time for him to get out of the house.

What are you loving today?

Apr6

Finding the Happy

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My life is normally a little crazier then most.  The Hubs has a job that is anything but 9-5 and on top of that we own a small business that he works at at least 3 days a week. I work full time and we have two kiddos, 2 cats and a dog running around our house.  Currently we have some huge life altering changes coming up- in June my life is either going to be uprooted and we’re going to move 350 miles away OR the Hubs will get a new job and we get to stay put where we are.  The direction my life goes is out of my hands at this point and I have to try to plan for both.  So I’m simultaneously looking for a new house, new schools and trying to figure out how to sell our house all the while re-enrolling the kiddos in Scorch’s current school, planning vacations that won’t happen if we move and going on with my day-to-day life.

Yes, my head hurts on a daily basis.  I’ve been more stressed then I ever have been in my life. For the first time ever, I’m having trouble sleeping at night because I can’t turn my brain off.  Any discussion of the future is prefaced with a “If XX happens, we’ll…” or ended with “…if we move/don’t move.”  It’s easy- so very easy- to get bogged down in the details and the stress and the worry.

But worrying and stressing and feeling anxious aren’t natural states for me.  I normally err on the side of being too Pollyanna-ish-  if that cloud has a silver lining, then I’m bound and determined to find it because my life is good and amazing and one I’m so thankful to be living.   So in the the spirit of finding my happy, here is what’s bringing a smile to my face today:

> Having good friends over for dinner at the spur of the moment.  The meal was simple, but delicious, and the company couldn’t have been any better!

> Putting my kids to bed early because they are so tired from all the fun things they’ve been doing these past few days- gymnastics, PE class, swim lessons, outside recess, playing with friends, Fire House visits and too much time playing Wii Baseball as a family.

> Spending part of my morning editing pictures of my sweet niece, Lala, and then trying to find the perfect invitation for her Baptism and party with my sister, Red.  I cannot wait for the day we’re all together to celebrate her amazing life!

> Anticipating the return of True Blood by reading the Inside True Blood blog. June can’t come fast enough for a lot of reasons!

> Planning a small weekend trip with my kiddos and another slightly longer one just with my Husband.

> Getting told by my shrink that I am the most interesting of all his clients this week (I do believe I should get a certificate for that)!

> Listening to the baby monitor and hearing Bean say goodnight to all her bears and give them all kisses.

> Having Scorch yell for me after I put him to bed because he wanted one more hug.

> Wearing bright red shoes.

> Angry Birds Rio– taking my frustrations out on those damn monkey’s is very therapeutic!

> Knowing that in a year or two from now, all the craziness going on right now will be a distant memory- a small bump in the road.