Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Mar21

Mixed Feelings

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I’m leaving tomorrow for a quick business trip.  I fly out at 6 am tomorrow morning and land back home at 6 pm Wednesday night- so I’m gone a grand total of 36 hours total.

Part of me wants to do my best Braveheart impression and scream “Freeeeeeedom!!” as I pack my bag.  I get to meet with an old friend for breakfast tomorrow, travel with two of my favorite coworkers and attend meetings with some interesting companies doing some great things.  Add in at least one or two great meals out and a night in a hotel and I am one happy girl.

That is, until my 2 year old asks me when I’m coming home.  I tell her I’m going on a quick trip and I’ll be back when she wakes up in 2 days.  “You promise, Mommy?”  And that, right then, is when the arrow goes right through my heart.  I realize in the grand scheme of things a quick 36 hour business trip is not the end of the world, but it’s a big thing when you’re little.  For better or worse, my kids are used to the Hubs traveling for work, but they aren’t used to me being gone.  I keep telling myself it’ll be good for all three of them- the Hubs, Scorch and Bean- to figure out things without me for a few days. The Hubs can try his hand at getting the kids ready to go to school on his own, deal with the fun that is swimming lessons solo and wrestle the kids to bed two nights by himself and the kids will be thrilled with all this attention.

Me? I’ll be loving life in the Big City all the while counting down the hours till I’m home.

Mar17

Love Thursday: Little Reminders

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I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up (I still don’t, honestly).  The only thing I did know is that my future involved kids. When we were dealing with the 3 years of infertility and miscarriages, I dreamed about all the things I knew I’d love when I finally become a mom.  Long cuddles. The smell of a baby’s head. Days at the park.  The list was endless and it was the only thing that kept me going at times.

And I was right- I do (did- there are no more baby heads to sniff anymore!) love those things. But I find myself loving the oddest things.  Like opening my eyes in the morning and spotting a Disney Princess cup on my dresser.  Or reaching into my purse and pulling out an Iron Man toy instead of my wallet.  The fact that when I shower there are more soaps and bubbles for the little people in my house then there are for the big people.

In my darkest days, I wondered if I’d ever get to have kids running around my house, so these small little reminders of the kiddos make me smile much more often then they make me nuts.

Mar16

Missing Them

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From day 1, I knew I wasn’t stay at home mom material.  Quite frankly, staying home with my kids full time is much harder then my day job!

I have had the luxury of working from my home for a Big Company for the past 8+ years. Pre-kids I had a nice little office set up in one of our spare bedrooms- big L-shaped desk, bookshelves, awards.  Now each of those spare bedrooms is filled with a kid so I work out of a small hutch in our family room.  It’s not glamorous, but it allows me to get my job done each day.

When I was pregnant with Scorch, we researched a variety of day care options. After looking at a few places, we realized how silly it was to send Scorch out of the house while I was here so we hired Mary, our nanny. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure (most of the time) of being able to work with my kids one floor up from me. I can love on them any time I want. I give them kisses when they leave the house and I greet them at the door when they get home. In the summer I can take my lunch outside with them or take a break between meetings to stick my feet in the kiddie pool while they play.  In short, it’s the perfect set up!

Today I took the day off from work and was out of the house all day long.  On my drive home, I realized just how much I missed those little buggers.  Then I realized how much more I was going to miss them next year when they are both in school full time.

Anyone know of a way to freeze time? Because today, I’m all for that!

Mar15

2 am Conversations

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The Bean is a force to be reckoned with- that’s an undisputed fact.  She came into this world in hurry, she cried for the first 3 hours of her life and she basically turned our lives upside down from minute one is a million different ways.  For the first six months of her life, Beaner was a crappy sleeper.  The only way to get any sleep at all was to have her in bed with me.  I say me because by the time she was 3 months old she was too big and too wiggly for the Hubs to feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed with her and I.

For almost every night for 3 months, the Hubs opted to sleep on the couch just so he could get some uninterrupted sleep. You see, Bean didn’t sleep well with us- it wasn’t like cuddling with me made her sleep better or longer. She just didn’t sleep at all and having her in bed with me just allowed me to soothe her before she woke up Scorch (who is also a really terrible sleeper).

We took Bean in for her 6 month well baby visit on her 6 months birthday and her doctor told me that I could let her cry it out if I wanted.  6 months was the earliest I would even consider it regardless of how badly we were all sleeping and the doctor confirmed that she was finally big enough to give it a try.

So that night, I sent the Hubs out with his friends to watch a basketball game (the man cannot be around a crying baby without comforting them) and I gave it ago.  She cried for 37 mins (I checked on her every 10 minutes) and then she fell asleep. She didn’t sleep through the night because she was still nursing, but within 3 nights she happily put herself to sleep every single night.  By the time she was a year old, she slept 12-13 hours straight every. single. night.

It was heaven.

We potty trained Bean about 3 weeks ago- it went so much easier then I thought it would. Except for one little thing.  Her sleep- her precious, glorious sleep- has gone to hell because now instead of wetting her diaper, she wants to get up and use the potty at least twice a night.  I know that’s a good thing, but it’s killing me.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she was up and then back to bed quickly, but she wants to talk to me while she’s up.

“What you doing, Mommy?”

“Where Daddy?”

“I all done sleeping now?”

“I yike (like) laughing. Do you like laughing?”

Or she’ll tell me about a conversation she had earlier in the day.  They are mundane conversations- like when our nanny, Mary, wanted her to put a pair of pants on and the Bean didn’t want to- but she has different voices and facial expressions for each person she imitating, so then I start laughing, and she starts laughing and pretty soon we’re cracking up like a pair of loons at 2 am in the bathroom.

Do you know how hard it is to go back to bed after something like that?

 

Mar14

One World

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Last week was a tough one.  The Hubs and I are facing a bunch of hard decisions thanks in large part to his job. Emotions were running high and we were both dealing with a lack of sleep- which doesn’t help a thing.  Things were just not fun in our home.

Then I woke up Friday to the news about the earthquake in Japan.  Talk about a quick dose of reality.  Yes, we have some big worries right now.  But my family is safe. My home is intact. We have food on our table and fresh clean water coming out of the tap.  My kids are healthy and whole and I know where each member of my family is.

So many in Japan still can’t say the same 4 days later.  The extent of the damage is absolutely surreal, I can’t get my head wrapped around it.

I urge you to please, please give to the people of Japan.

 

Mar10

Love Thursday: The Crazy Hoarder

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Scorch and I were wrestling last night and he lunged at me pretending to be a scary deinonychus trying to slash me. (Wholesome family fun!)  He didn’t actually get me, but his nails left a fun little gash on my hand.  When I examined his fingers nails, I realized that they were scary long and had to be cut.

That night before bed, Operation DeClawing began.  Scorch was a rock star until I manged to clip one particularly long nail off in one piece (mad skills, I know!).  He was enthralled with this nail, said it was the coolest thing ever and that it actually looked like a miniature dinosaur claw!  Then he said he wanted to keep his nail and sleep with it.

Uh-huh.

When I calmly explained why that wasn’t going to happen, Scorch was NOT happy.

“But Mom- I love it, it’s awesome!”

“Yup, I get that buddy, I do. But still, it’s going in the garbage.”

“Mom- don’t you love me? This nail- it’s a part of me, so you have to love it, too!”

“You know I love you very much, but it doesn’t change the fact that that is garbage.”

And on and on we went. Seriously- why aren’t conversations like this in any of the child rearing books I read?

Happy Love Thursday, all! I hope your day was filled with as much laughter as mine was thanks to my crazy hoarder!

Mar8

Scorch vs. The Toilet

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Ah, Tuesday– you strike again.

After the typical craziness of swim lessons and dinner, it was bath time.  This time we smartened up and bathed the kids separately.  Bean went first without a fuss, then it was Scorch’s turn. The boy didn’t want to get out, so when the time came he was not happy. He stepped out of the tub and decided he would show his displeasure by going limp and letting his body fall to the ground. On the way down, his cheek bone smacked right into the side of the toilet.

*Thunk*

Immediately, the poor kid started crying. I thought he bonked his eye, so I  checked that out quickly. Upon seeing his eyeball was still in place, I started to reassure him that he was OK.  Then he moved his towel and I saw his cheekbone. I couldn’t help it- I started to crack up. I mean- come on, he gave himself a black eye on the toilet! He had a huge purple bruise starting to form and I know darn well it’s not going to look good tomorrow.

Scorch was not happy with my laughter and started to cry again. I stifled myself and said something along the lines of how he got himself good. Wrong thing to say.

“Mommy..don’t look at my cheek! I don’t want anyone to see my eye!”

I said not to worry about it, bruises always make for good stories.

“I can’t tell people I hit it on the toilet!!”

Hmmm…ok, I told him he could tell people that dinosaurs broke into our house and he had to fight them off.

“Mom- everyone knows dinosaurs are extinct! That won’t work.”

He had a point- his classmates are smart little buggers.  So I suggested we tell everyone he wrestled with a honey badger.**

“Mooo-ooom- honey badgers don’t have thumbs. They can’t break in to a house, duh!”

Also a good point. We never did settle on what he’s going to tell his friends tomorrow, but at least he started laughing and settled down.

As for me, I’m going to get a kick of telling this story for quite some time.

 

**That video has lots of swearing, but it’s hysterical!

 

 

Mar7

Bean’s Proclimations

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About 2 weeks ago, we decided it was time to potty train the Bean.  She’ll be three this summer and had been showing all the signs of being ready for quite some time.  So we bit the bullet, put her in some big girl undies and gave it a whirl. Thankfully, within 2 days she was pretty much trained- we were all shocked at how quickly little Ms. Stubborn took to things.

Today, after being snowed in all day, I decided to throw caution to the wind and take her out of the house to a local bounce house and restaurant without a diaper on. Thankfully she didn’t have any accidents- but she did insist on going to the bathroom in the restaurant 5 times within the hour we were there. Five. Times.  Since she’s still newly trained, I didn’t want to take the chance that she didn’t have to go, so off we went each and every time.

Each time we’d leave the bathroom, I’d remind her that we were at a restaurant and that it’s not polite to talk about potty things at the table.  And each time as we’d approach our table, she’s happily yell out to the Hubs what exactly she did in the bathroom. “Daddy- I went pee-pee on the potty!!” she’d proclaim, bursting with pride over how big she was now.

Thank goodness the snow scared off most people tonight so we didn’t really have any neighboring dinners to worry about.  I can’t imagine hearing about my daughters bathroom exploits would be good for anyone’s appetite!

Mar3

Love Thursday: Homecoming (Part 2)

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I always knew without a doubt that I was loved as a kid.  Hugs, kisses, “I love you’s” and praise were doled out liberally  in my house.  Mom and Dad attended all our school functions, supported us in our decisions – big & small, and always were there for us.  Love in my family was like air- it was just there.

But it wasn’t until Scorch was born and I felt for the first time that all consuming love for my child that I realized just how very much my parents loved me.

******

Up until this year, the longest I had ever gone between seeing at least one of my parents was 6 weeks. But this year, my parents became snow birds and migrated south to FL for Jan and Feb.  Yes, I’m in my 30’s and I cried the night we said goodbye to them before they left.  While they were gone, we talked daily and Skyped a few times a week but it wasn’t the same for me or the kiddos- not when we were used to seeing them at least once a week.

That is why Scorch and Bean were practically vibrating with anticipation as we drove to meet my Dad for dinner tonight. The grins and shrieks when they saw their Papa were stinking priceless- even the people at the tables around us said it was the sweetest thing!  Papa holds a special place in my kids lives and we are all so happy he’s home!

 

Mar2

Battle of Wills

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The Hubs is one of the most stubborn people I know. He’s right, you’re wrong and that is all there is to that.  On top of that, The Hub’s job also puts him in a position of authority. He’s very used to people telling people what to do and having them hop to.  Those traits serve him very well both professional and personally. Except for when they are reflected back at him through his kids.

Dinner tonight was a low key affair, so the kids ate sitting on the bar stools in the kitchen while the Hubs sat at the table behind them.  Beaner was sitting on her knees and wasn’t very steady so the Hubs asked her to please sit on her bum so she didn’t fall off the stool.

She ignored him.

He called her name again and repeated his request.  Beaners squared her little jaw and continued to ignore him.

I tried to intervene but  The Hubs asked me to let him take care of it, so I backed off while keeping my eyes on the Bean.  He repeated his request one more time, this time telling her if she doesn’t answer him, she will be going to timeout.

She  lifted her hiney in the air and settled it very carefully and very purposefully back on her feet, sitting on her knees still.

Honest to God, I thought the Hubs head was going to explode as he picked her up and carried her to time out.

I do believe he’s met his match!