I like to sing- a lot.  Mind you, I can’t carry a tune and I can’t remember any more then two lines from any given song, but that doesn’t stop me from breaking into song any time I feel like it.  After I’ve song the lines I do remember I just start making it up as I go along. As long as I can find words that rhyme, I keep going.  My poor kids are usually my only audience so they are used to it and usually help me along when I run out of words.

This afternoon, I was getting Scorch out of the bath while singing my own personal version of “Tomorrow” from Annie.  In the middle of the song, Scorch almost slipped in the bath, so I sang a made up line that ended in floor, then another ending in sore (as in how he’d feel if he did fall) and then I got stumped.  So Scorch kindly offered up the word “whore.”

Huh.

My mind does this holy crap brain freeze thing where there are so many conflicting thoughts fighting for space everything just gets stuck. I figured one of two things just happened:

1) Either Scorch did hear that word used somewhere by someone and doesn’t realize it’s a bad word

or

2) Scorch just made up a word on the spot simply because it rhymes.

I didn’t want to overreact and draw attention to the word, so I simply say “Whore, huh?” (I know- sometimes my parenting skills are so sharp I scare myself).

“Yup- I made it up! Floor, sore, whore, bore, pour….”

Whew. Another bullet dodged- now I just have to explain to my sweet boy why I can’t sing that song anymore without giggling.

The other day I was giving Scorch a piggy back ride up stairs and when it was time for him to let go, I didn’t have to bend down.  He simply didn’t have that far to fall.

When I realized that, I curled up on the ground and cried.

Well- not really, but I wanted to.  Where in the world has my baby gone? My bald Buddha baby? My sweet cuddly toddler? Heck, I’d even take my chubby cheeked pre-schooler.  Wasn’t he just born yesterday? I still vividly remember the Hubs and I driving the 40 minutes up the hospital after my water broke- so excited, so nervous, so completely overwhelmed with what was happening and so unprepared for parenthood.

But as much as I miss my first baby,  5 year old Scorch is pretty damn awesome.  He wants to write all the time- he’s constantly penning notes (“Mom- how do you spell….?”) for anyone and everyone.  He wants to learn how to read and he’s beyond ticked that we haven’t taught him to tie his shoes yet.   He’s smart as can be and throws in random words like “A.K.A.” into our conversations.   He’s a good friend and a sweet boy who still loves hugs and kisses and snuggles.  His laugh still lights up his room and I swear his eye lashes will always be the envy of every woman he meets.

I just want him to slow down- just a little bit. Not because he’s not ready to get older and grow bigger, but because I’m not.  I hear awful stories of bullying, I read terrible stories of crimes, I see pictures of horrifying car wrecks and I just want to keep him little. I want to have him home with me all the time- I’m not ready to let go and share him with the world.

But- that’s the price of parenthood. That’s the goal of parenthood- to raise your kids to be smart, independent kids who can take care of themselves. And I’m beyond thankful that the Hubs and I get that privilege of raising him and the Bean, I just wish that occasionally life had a pause button.

When the kids came home from school today we had our usual Kitchen Dance Party.  I threw on some  music (today it was “I Gotta Feeling” by Blacked Eyed Peas) and we shook our bodies until we’re all cracking up and out of breath.  All was going great until Scorch told us to look at him because he wanted to show us his Justin Bieber moves.

His WHAT?

I don’t have an issue with the Biebs himself- but he’s not my cup of tea, so we’ve never listened to him or even talked about him at our house before. So Scorch must have learned about His Hairness at school.  And frankly, I’m not ready for my kid to be influenced by his friends yet. Especially not influenced into listening to music like that when there is so much other great music out there.

So, I did what any other self-respecting parent would do. I got online and found good music for the kids to listen to.  Cream, Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Steve Miller Band, Barenaked Ladies, Billy Idol, U2, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, & Billy Joel.  Looking back, I realize my play list makes me seem old- but it was hard to come up with appropriate songs that my 5 & 3 year old would both like.   Thank goodness, they are fully aware of the musical genius that is Jimmy Buffett, so if nothing else, at least I did that right.

I may have gotten a little over zealous with my music sharing though considering Scorch told me he didn’t want to go to bed because he’d have nightmares about Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.

But tell me- what do you listen to with (or without) your kids?  I may not be able to control everything, but I’ll be damned if my kids are getting sucked into crappy music yet.  I was at least 10 before the cult of NKOTB drew me in!