Category Archives: Scorch

Mar21

Boys and Girls

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Almost a year to the day after Scorch was born, Dancer was born. Dancer is one of my best friends (and neighbor’s) daughter. When Dancer’s mom had to go back to work after she was born, Dancer came to our house every day to be watched by our nanny.  A year and a couple months after Dancer was born, the Bean came along.  For a year, the three of them were watched at my house and were as close as siblings.

Scorch and Dancer were the big kids and Bean the baby.  The two of them were best friends and played everything together.  When Dancer was three she started at a new day care and while the kids don’t see each other daily, they are still good friends.  Up until about 6 months ago, it was still the two of them and then Bean, the baby, tagging along.

But now the Bean is older- she’s closer to 4 than 3 and Dancer, very much a girly girl, gravitates to her instead of Scorch when the kids play. The girls do all the stereotypical things that girls do together- like play dolls and have tea parties.  Scorch is suddenly the odd man out after being the ring leader for so long- something he’s not at all happy about!

None of that was more apparent then when we went out to dinner tonight. My friend and I sat at a table by the kids, but we let Scorch, Bean & Dancer be by themselves. They had some things to play with (cars, coloring stuff, etc) but they obviously couldn’t run around so we told them to make conversation.

Hey Dancer, do you know who the Flash is?

Oh. Well, who’s your favorite super hero?

Have you ever seen Ben 10? You’d like Gwen.

What? No- I don’t like princesses.

Do you want to play cars?

No- this is not the baby car! They are all cars- they shoot each other and crash into each other, they don’t live in a house together.

Mom- why are the girls giggling again?!

And on and on. Too bad poor Scorch didn’t think things were nearly as funny as we did!

 

Mar20

Funny Bone

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The kids were riding bikes on the driveway after work today and they decided to race. The Big Wheel vs the 2 Wheeler- not really a fair fight but they were having a great time until the Bean decided to cheat.  Scorch got mad and yelled for her to “turn yourself around!”

I couldn’t resist so I asked him if he was going to ask her to do the hokey pokey?

Dumb, dumb joke but Scorch laughed so hard he had tears running down his face.  He had to sit down to catch his breath after the hysterics subsided and he told me I was the funniest person he knows.

That really why I had kids you know. I wanted a captive audience who were good for my ego.

Feb22

Not Our Best Day

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So…today? Not a great day.

The kids were good as gold this morning. I remember sitting there patting myself on the back because they were being such angels. Since school is on break this week, they got to spend the day at their BFFs house (thankfully their BFFs are siblings the same age as my kids).  I received frequent texts throughout the day telling me what great guests my kids were, how wonderfully the kids were playing, what good manner they hand and on and on.

I picked my kids up 15 minutes before the mom had a phone call she needed to take for work. Before dropping the kids off that morning, I prepped them for that- they knew when I showed up we had to hustle out of there. They agreed to it- but as most things with kids, the theory works out a lot better then the practice.

When I showed up Scorch flat out refused to leave. He sat on the playroom floor with his arms crossed and big tears rolling down his cheeks- he wanted to stay and that was that.   Well, so sad for him because that wasn’t that.  After coaxing him off the floor, out of the room and down the stairs we had to pause for the Bean to put on her shoes. That’s when Scorch made a break for it- he wanted to play some more. *sigh*  So I got the Bean situated and out the door and then went to get Scorch. I kid you not when I tell you I had to 1) carry him out the door and 2) pry his fingers off the door jam as his sobbed and screamed that he didn’t want to go.

Hi! Mortification? So nice to see you again.

I set him down on the porch and the wild animal who replaced my son screamed at me “I hate you!” loud enough for the whole entire neighborhood to hear.  So- I did what any rational parent would do. I sat my kid down in the drizzle in the muddy grass and made him sit there in time out on our friends wet lawn while I got the Bean in the car. I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry at that point, so I just ignored him while I collected myself.

Unfortunately after that fun, we didn’t have time to go home. We had a bunch of errands to run that included a stop at the library. Thankfully Scorch pulled himself together by the time we arrived there because the Bean decided to assert herself. Some how, over night, the Bean lost her ability to whisper. So everything- everything- in the library was said as loudly as possible. If I asked her to lower the volume, she cranked it up a notch.  Thank goodness we were in the Children’s room and her volume wasn’t out of place, but the defiance just about killed me.

Between the scene at our friends house, the errands in between and our 45 minute stop at the library, I had already sweated through my t-shirt. But we weren’t done- oh no. We still had to go to Ash Wednesday Mass at the local college.

Due to the Hub’s work schedule, I was flying solo at this mass, something I try to avoid like mad. But it was this mass or not being able to go at all, so I sucked it up. I figured since it was a college campus, mass wouldn’t be crowded. Yeah- wrong. There was no parking, so by the time we found a spot we were running late.  We hiked it in the pouring rain to the chapel and realized after we got there that I forgot the kid’s backpack with all their church toys (coloring books, crayons, snacks, etc). I had nothing in my purse besides my wallet, tissues and empty gum wrappers- and I had to make all that entertaining enough to last us an hour.

So that’s how I sweated through my sweater all while playing RockPaperSissors with Scorch and having thumb wars with the Bean for 60+ minutes. Thankfully most college kids think little kids are cute and don’t seem to mind having their pews kicked, hair accidentally pulled and potty words sung out loud during Communion.

Tomorrow has got to be easier, right?!

Feb13

You Say Jump…

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See that picture? That’s a picture of Scorch trying his darndest to help the Bean’s sled go further after her attempt down the hill didn’t take her as far as she wanted. The problem? He’s actually pushing her up a slight incline. Why is he doing this- slipping, sliding and sweating the whole time? Because she started to throw a fit when we both told her no two minute earlier.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is an issue.

If I haven’t made it clear here before, let me state again that the Bean is not just smart, but she’s clever. She knows how to get to someone and will press on that weakness until you’re ready to beg for mercy. And Scorch cannot stand to see her throwing a fit 90% of the time.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said no to the Bean over something-no, you can’t have another cookie. no, I’m taking the sword away because you’ve impaled your brother too many time.no, I’m not making a 3rd breakfast for you because you’ve decided that you no longer wants toast/eggs/waffles/whatever-and she’s dissolved into a shrieking, screaming, frothing-at-the-mouth hell hound demanding I give her whatever she wants. Now. Or Else.

I don’t negotiate with terrorists, so when I say no, I mean no.  But Scorch, being the sucker that he is, can’t stand seeing Bean so unhappy and hearing all her racket, so next thing I know I have the Bean screaming at me because she’s mad and Scorch screaming at me to give her what ever it is she wants just to quiet her down for Pete’s sake!

It’s fun, is what I’m telling you.

I find myself explaining to the Bean- again- why she’s not getting what she wants and then having to defend my actions to Scorch, rationalizing why I’m not attempting to tame my wild child and instead letting her scream so loudly that our ears ring. And while the Bean is screaming, she’s also playing close attention. This week alone she got the aforementioned push up the hill, Scorch’s site word ring from school, a beloved football and one of his prized stuff animals all thru the power of her scream.

If that boy doesn’t wise up soon, he’s screwed.

Feb8

Schooled

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“Hey Mom- that sentence? That sentence there? That’s called a rebus sentence!”

We were reading before bed tonight and our book (A Couple of Boys Have the Best Week Ever) starts out with a sentence with both words and a picture. When Scorch saw that he about lost his mind- tripping over himself to tell me what it’s called.

I had him repeat it a few times, not sure if I heard him correctly.  A ree-bus sentence? A what? I had never heard that a sentence like that has a name. So I smiled and nodded and congratulated him on his great memory.

Then the minute I got him in bed, I did what I always do when I need answers. I Googled- and damned if the kid isn’t right. A rebus is an allusional device that uses pictures to represent words or parts of words.   I had no idea!

Scorch knowing that totally makes up for last night when he seriously inquired what I was going to do to him if he didn’t pick up his toys like I asked so he could weigh the pros and cons of being punished vs cleaning up.

Feb7

Slice of Life: School Pickup

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There is really no point to this post- it’s just a slice of our life. I just needed to get words on paper again after a small break and this if the first thing that came out….

~*~*~*~

Like clockwork, I’m at the kid’s school at 3 pm every day to pick them up and bring them home.

The routine is always the same. I stop in the Bean’s classroom first as she’s the most likely to freak out if I’m late. I check in, say hello and see if she wants to come with me to get her big brother in his classroom. Some days she’s simply too busy to bother me with me and other days she clings to my like like a monkey who hasn’t seen her mommy in days.

Our walk to Scorch’s classroom can be fun- she can be skipping or hopping and chattering away about all the great things she did that day. Or she could wrap herself around my neck and not say a word as we walk the halls. Being a 3 year old in school full time is exhausting. If she’s quiet and tired I try to joke her out of it with tickles and funny stories. Some days it works and other days I just make her mad. We frequently run into some of the older kids in the school who seem to think the Bean is their personal baby doll come to life- they dote on her and love her up all while she ignores them and plays shy. I’m told she talks to these girls during the day, but when I’m around she’s mute regardless of her mood.

When we arrive to Scorch’s classroom, I say hello to his teacher and peek my head in his room to tell it’s time to go.  The boy is always talking when I see him- always animated and smiling and laughing. He won’t leave until his conversation is finished and he’s said all his goodbyes. It’s impossible to hurry him along, so most of the time I stand there and watch my little ray of joy dance around with his friends.

On our walk back through the school to our car, Scorch can’t bother to walk with us. He’s too busy high-fiving the 6th graders and saying hello to everyone he sees. I really don’t think the boy has ever met a stranger and the Bean’s teacher calls Scorch the Mayor of the school because he knows everyone.  I admit to getting frustrated with the dwaddling and talking when I’m trying to herd my kids out the door- I have to go to work, get a move on! Keep up!- but part of me is so happy to see Scorch blossom and love school so much.

Once we finally- slowly- get to our car, it’s another adventure as the Bean comes alive. Is she going to be bubbly and sweet and happy or is keeping it together all day in school finally going to prove to be too much? There have been time she’s screamed and cried so loud in the parking lot as I’m trying to buckle her in her seat, I’ve honestly thought other parent was going to send a teacher out to investigate.  If she’s raging, that may last the whole 9 minute car ride home. Or it can be over in the blink of an eye. You just never know- I guess that’s what makes every day an adventure.

 

 

Jan31

Mean Mom

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“Jeez Mom- you are so mean!”

I had to bit my tongue when Scorch told me that this morning.

Yes, I am mean* when I’ve asked you to get dressed 10 times and you ignored me.

Yes, I am mean when I’ve asked you to clean up and you keep telling me 1 minute. After the 5th time, I snap.

Yes, I am mean when it’s 10 pm and you’re still awake and won’t stop talking.

Yes, I am mean when you push your sister (or vice versa) after being told for the hundredth time to keep your hands to yourself.

I love you, little boy, with my whole heart, but you are making me crazy. I full expected you to loose your teeth when you were five, I didn’t expect you to lose your hearing as well.

*Mean = standing next to Scorch while he does what ever he was supposed to do/putting kids in time out. As The Hubs (a cop) says, my kids really don’t understand the true meaning of mean (thank goodness!).

Jan26

A Made Up Word

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I like to sing- a lot.  Mind you, I can’t carry a tune and I can’t remember any more then two lines from any given song, but that doesn’t stop me from breaking into song any time I feel like it.  After I’ve song the lines I do remember I just start making it up as I go along. As long as I can find words that rhyme, I keep going.  My poor kids are usually my only audience so they are used to it and usually help me along when I run out of words.

This afternoon, I was getting Scorch out of the bath while singing my own personal version of “Tomorrow” from Annie.  In the middle of the song, Scorch almost slipped in the bath, so I sang a made up line that ended in floor, then another ending in sore (as in how he’d feel if he did fall) and then I got stumped.  So Scorch kindly offered up the word “whore.”

Huh.

My mind does this holy crap brain freeze thing where there are so many conflicting thoughts fighting for space everything just gets stuck. I figured one of two things just happened:

1) Either Scorch did hear that word used somewhere by someone and doesn’t realize it’s a bad word

or

2) Scorch just made up a word on the spot simply because it rhymes.

I didn’t want to overreact and draw attention to the word, so I simply say “Whore, huh?” (I know- sometimes my parenting skills are so sharp I scare myself).

“Yup- I made it up! Floor, sore, whore, bore, pour….”

Whew. Another bullet dodged- now I just have to explain to my sweet boy why I can’t sing that song anymore without giggling.

Jan25

A Book Worm is Born

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“Hey Mom- if you replace the “d” in “dog” with an “l,” it spells “log.”

“Dad, Dad- at the end of movies, it says “The End” but if you swap that “E” with an “A”- you’d get “The And.” Wouldn’t that be funny?”

As, so it begins- my boy is reading! He read us a book the other night before bed, blending all the words and getting every one just right.  The Hubs and I just sat there and grinned like fools the whole time, so proud that I thought we were going to burst.  Sure, this means our time of being able to spell words we don’t want the kids to know is dwindling down, but the upside to this whole Scorch being able to read things is enormous. I hope so much for my kids- including that they the same passion for reading that I do. I simply can’t imagine how boring and stale my life would be without a good book.

On that note, the kids are finally asleep (thank goodness– it’s been a crappy day here behavior wise), the Hubs is watching TV and I have a lot of books to enjoy.

Books, glorious books!

 

What are you reading? You know I’m always looking for a good recommendation or two!

Jan22

Mocking Bird

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Typically when I don’t post here, things are either really good (see: Christmas break) or really bad (relatively speaking). This past week+ has been bad.  Sleep has been beyond miserable thanks to Scorch and his continued fear of Kitty Galore. A month and a half ago, my kids were in bed, asleep, by 7:45 or 8 most nights.  Now we’re lucky if they are in bed, asleep, before 10. And forget sleeping through the night- I think I can count on one hand the number of times that’s happened since mid-December.

In short, we’re all exhausted and cranky.

Like I mentioned before, the problem isn’t nightmares as much as it is Scorch laying in bed freaking himself out thinking about scary things. Out of desperation I shared all this with some of my best online friends last week as we had gone through everything the Hubs and I could think of. One friend recommended a meditation CD for kids.  I was desperate, so I bought it right then and there (love you, iTunes!) and we tried it that night.

Scorch was asleep within 10 minutes.  I almost cried I was so happy. Evidently having something to occupy his smart, sweet brain was what he really needed to keep his mind off of scary things.  We had great success the 2nd night and since then it’s been a bit more hit and miss, but things are much better then they were before.

The CD really is lovely – the voice speaking is incredible smoothing and she speaks in a very soft, sing-songy cadence asking the listener to envision different things (you’re sailing on a ship, you’re in a garden) and Scorch loves it. I can’t recommend it enough…unless your child has a sibling like the Bean.

This morning Bean took away Scorch’s favorite toy while he wasn’t paying attention. He threw a total fit and without missing a beat, the Bean started to mimic the tone and rhythm of the meditation CD. “Picture your dragon, Scorch. What color is your dragon? Is he flying?” and on and on. Scorch started laughing so hard he let her keep his toys.