Category Archives: Scorch

Nov23

Book Worm

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Tonight I had a date night with Scorch and I couldn’t be more thankful for it.

We both needed new books, so we drove the 25 minutes to small branch of my county’s library system that is truly a hidden gem.  Over the past week I have gotten the latest Alex Cross novel by James Patterson and the latest books by Jeffrey Deaver, Nelson DeMille and Jodi Picoult.  Books in general make me giddy. Brand spanking new books by some of my favorite authors? They make me euphoric!

Best of all, Scorch shares my love of reading.  He was thrilled to get a few new dinosaur books along with a Junie B Jones book he’d never read. We had a ball sitting in the empty library at 6:30 looking thru shelves of books to see what he may like.  When we got home, the Hubs was putting Beaner to bed so we got to dive right in while eating a late dinner together. After dinner, it was time for bed, which meant more time to read together after teeth were brushed and PJs were put on. Did you know that paleontologists think that only 7% of all dinosaur species have been discovered? Me neither- but that fact just about caused Scorch to pass out because he was worried there weren’t going to be any fossils left for him to find when he got older.

Scorch has pretty much learned all his letters, so now he’s learning how they fit together to make words. He told me today that it’s like magic and I couldn’t agree more!

Nov17

Coming in for a landing

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Right around the time Scorch was born, I learned about the phrase “helicopter parent” and I vowed I’d never been that mom.

Yeah- never say never. Now that Scorch is in school I total get that urge.

Since school started, Scorch has had on- again/ off-again issues with one of the boys in his class.  This little boy is either excluding Scorch from things OR not letting anyone else play with him and Scorch when the two of them are together.  Either way, Scorch comes home upset at least weekly over this.  When he’s being excluded his feeling are obviously hurt and he’s confused why this kid, who he considers a friend, is being mean.  When this child is excluding other kids, Scorch doesn’t get it either because he just wants to play with everyone.

To a 30-something, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. But to a 4 year old, this is a huge deal.

I wrestled with whether to mention this to his teachers.  Scorch is in a big class of 26 kids and while his teachers are astoundingly amazing, they aren’t omnipotent. But I don’t want to be that mom– the one who gets up in arms every time her precious snowflake is upset, the one who doesn’t let her kid figure it out on his own.

I ultimately did speak with his teachers and they were great and have taken immediate steps to help both boys with this. I think, in this case, I made the right decision to speak up.  Now I’m wondering if it would be weird if I sent Scorch to school with a recording of Stuart Smalley repeating “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” over and over. That’s totally normal, right?

 

Nov15

How much is that doggie…

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I love playing a lot of different games with the kids. When we’re at the park, its  soccer or baseball or basketball.  At home, its typically hide & seek, tag, dinosaurs, memory and whatever other board game Scorch has a hankering for.

But Scorch’s latest obsession (which the Bean now shares) may kill me.

Puppies.

The kids want to play puppies all the time. They crawl around on all fours barking and yapping, demanding to be petted. They want to play fetch. They lick us to show affection.  Let me say that again- my kids are licking my ankles to get my attention.  My job is to sit (or stand) there and give the kids my undivided attention and the occasional scratch behind the ear.

After 10 minutes of this, I’d rather stick myself in the arm with a fork repeatedly.  At least when we play Dinosaurs, I get to be the Ankylosaurus and whack the kids with my tail!

Let’s all say a silent prayer this game plays out quickly!

Oct27

Boys & Girls

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A friend of mine is pregnant with her second, and last, child. They recently found out they were having another daughter and they are thrilled that their eldest will have a same sex sibling. They envision the girls sharing clothes and secrets and being each others best friends. They figure that two girls have a better chance of being close their whole lives then a brother and sister do.

I was a little taken aback though because I never thought about things that way. I hope my kids are close for life and I know darn well they are broadening each others horizons:

> The Bean knows now that a hose nozzle/stick/funny shaped rock isn’t just a nozzle/stick/funny shaped rock, it’s also a fun pretend gun. She ever knows the proper sounds to make when trying to shoot you. (I’m so proud!)

> Scorch’s toe nails are currently painted a gorgeous shade of red (the Hubs is thrilled about that).

> The Bean could tell you if any one of dozens of dinosaurs are meat eaters or plant eaters. (Just don’t ask us to pronounce the dino’s names, k?)

> Scorch is just as likely to sleep with a pink blanket covering him as he is a blue one.

> The Bean will try to pee standing up upside just like her big brother if you let her (we don’t).

How boring life would be if it was only tea parties or mud pies exclusively? We’ve got the best of both worlds here!

 

Oct18

The Confidence of Youth

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Last week Scorch had school pictures.  When he got home, I asked him if was the most handsome boy in his class?

“Umm…yeah, aren’t I always?”

*****

Tonight we finished reading Junie B Jones is Captain Field Day before bed.  Spoiler alert- Room 9 loses almost all their field day races. We got talking about how Room 9 was not happy about losing everything and were being sore losers. He asked what that meant, so I asked him how he felt when he lost when playing games.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever lost a single thing I’ve played!”

Ah…to be so young and so full of yourself!

Oct14

Love Thursday: It Stops Here

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When you become a parent, no one tells you how scary the world will become. How you’ll worry about everything. How you’ll turn the world upside down and inside out to keep your kids happy, healthy and safe. You’ll buy the best car seats and make them hold your hand when you cross the street. Wear safety equipment to ride their bike in your driveway. Lather up in sunblock anytime they are outside.

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The news has been filled with stories lately of teenagers who are killing themselves in  large part due to bullying.  As a parent- as a person– that makes me sick to my stomach and my heart ache. These kids parents probably bought the best car seats for their kids too- but they couldn’t keep their kids safe.

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For the first time in his short life, Scorch was faced with kids who were mean last year in his 3 year old pre-school class. Kids who called names, who teased and who made my son cry. These kids teased everyone- Scorch was never, to the best of my knowledge, singled out. As the kids matured and the school year progressed, the teasing stopped.

But, it tied me up in knots and gave me one more things to worry about.

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My parents gave me a lot of gifts in my life, but the greatest one they ever gave me was my sense of self worth and value. Thanks to them, I never really worried about people not liking me- why wouldn’t people like me? I pray every day the Hubs and I can teach Scorch and Bean that they are good enough, that they are worth of respect and love and friendship. That they should never, ever have to apologize or feel badly for who they are.

I also pray we raise them with enough compassion and grace to be kind to those that are different. To be accepting. To champion the underdog and not to stand for malice and meanness at other people’s expense. My kids are being raised in the middle of nowhere where there isn’t a lot of diversity, so “different” is going to stand out like a sore thumb. I hope we can raise our kids to celebrate different and not ridicule it.

The conversations now with Scorch are simple and straight forward- be kind to others, tell Mommy & Daddy if someone is being mean to you, stand up for yourself and your friends, don’t be mean to the other kids. But by starting them now, I’m hoping the Hubs and I can help raise a generation of kids who don’t stand for what’s happening today.

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Lawyer or trash collector. Gay or straight. None of that matters to me. Happy, healthy, alive– those are my parenting goals. Hopefully by talking to my kids now- today- about all this will result in just that.

For more thoughts on bullying and how you can help stop it, I urge you to read here and here.

Oct6

On Growing Up

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Bean doesn’t want to be a baby anymore. Everything is done her way, by her. “Me do” is a constant refrain in our house. Putting on her clothes, getting her diaper, going potty, washing her hands, brushing her teeth, feeding herself, coloring, playing, going anywhere.

Everything takes 10x as long as it should because she wants to do it herself. Coats get put on upside down and more then half of her dinner ends up in her lap because not only does she want to feed herself, she wants to do it with adult utensils. Most of the time it’s adorable; except for when you’re in a hurry. Then it’s just annoying.

That is why I cherish bedtime- the one time a day where you can see the baby that once was in the way Bean wants to cuddle while we sing our good night songs.

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Scorch is old enough now that he cares what people think.  We were at a family gathering a few weeks back and he bumped his head on the counter and everyone turned to make sure he was OK.  He put on a tough face, then walked calmly out of the room and burst into tears- not because he was hurt but because he was so embarrassed that people were looking at him.  Then he was worried people were going to think he was a baby for crying.

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Nobody warns you before you have kids all the millions of ways they’ll break your heart simply by just growing up.

Oct4

The Invention of Lying

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I’ve read in a couple magazines lately that when your toddler / pre-schooler  lies it’s actually a good thing- it shows  foresight, thought and intelligence.

That sounds all well and good until it’s your kid who is lying.

Scorch is going through a phase now (please, God, let it be a phase) where you say white, he says black. Yesterday he did something that got him in a bit of trouble. Nothing terrible, but he got talked to by the Hubs and I. You could see the panic in his eyes and suddenly he blurts out that the Bean was to blame. The problem is that the Bean had been strapped into her car seat while all this went down.

He was absolutely insistent that she was the culprit. He even came up with a story on how she wormed herself out of her car seat and got into trouble, then got herself back into her car seat all without us noticing.  Have I mentioned lately that the Bean is 2?!  Scorch didn’t cry, yell or get upset. That was his story and he stuck to it.

I keep reminding myself that this is a sign that Scorch is smart- scary smart. Not that he’s a psychopath. 😉

Oct3

Chatter

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While I was in my room earlier today, I overheard the kiddos talking to each other.

First Scorch tried to teach Beaner how to color within the lines (total fail- she’s only 2).

Then he tried to explain to her why we had to cheer for the Yankees & the Giants today (because those are the teams Daddy,  Papa & Grandpa cheer for, of course).

Then their conversation turned heavy. Scorch tried to explain Heaven to Bean (it is a place in the sky that you can’t see because the clouds get in the way that you go to when you’re really, really old. Bean really didn’t care).

Scenes like that play out every day in my house- the two kids talking to each other about anything and everything.

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After all the struggles we had to have Scorch, I wasn’t sure if I wanted a second child. Scorch was (is) perfect in just about every way and our family was in a great spot.  Two jobs, a small business, and one kid- things were more then manageable!  The Hubs & I hemmed and hawed over when- if- to have another kid. When Scorch was 2? 3?

And then I found out I was pregnant. Accidentally. Unexpectedly. Amazingly.

I can’t imagine how quiet our house would be if there wasn’t two of them.

Sep27

Touched Out

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When I was pregnant with Scorch I read about new mom’s being “touched out.” Essentially they spent all their time carrying, rocking, feeding and being used as a pillow by their newborn so they got to the point where they didn’t want to be touched anymore, by anyone.

I never felt that way with either kids when they were little- but I do now.

I adore Scorch, that should go without saying. But the boy wants to be touching me All The Time.  Sitting on my lap. Hugging me. Kissing me a gazillion times over and over and OVER.  If I sit down, he’s crawling over me. If I’m standing up, he wants to be held. If we’re reading on the couch together, he’s kissing my cheek or my hand or draped over me. If I’m trying to help him with something, he’s putting his hands on my face, my head, my shoulders, my arms- poking, prodding, pulling, pushing, constantly touching.

He’s making me nuts.

I never, ever, EVER want to tell my kid to stop with the affection. My extended family hugs and kisses when we say hello and goodbye and we touch each others arms when we’re deep in conversation- physical affection is key in my life. But this is more then just affection- Scorch knows it can be too much and does it now just to make me crazy; giggling the whole time as I’m dodging his octopus arms while I’m helping him tie his shoes.  He even started with the “I’m not touching” you as his little hands hovered around my face.

I may lose my ever-lovin’ mind here soon.