Day 21
Friday equals Family Movie Night in my house. We order pizza, pick up some movies and then come home, put on our PJs and just relax. The movies this week weren’t very good (Race to Witch Mountain and – for the Hubs and I- Pixels), but that is besides the point. I don’t have to cook, we all get to curl up on the couch and, by the time the movie is done, it’s bedtime for the kids.

Pure  bliss that I’m thankful for every week.

Day 22
Saturday was a crazy day. We left the house at 8 am, then didn’t get home until 3, then left again at 5 and didn’t get home until 8:30 thanks to practices, games, a holiday bazaar that we volunteered at and helping out a friend.  For the 2 hours we were home the Hubs and I napped because we’re old.

As crazy as the day was, it means we’re part of our community. We are involved and active – and yes, possibly crazy – but it makes my heart happy that we’re as plugged in as we are to our little town.

Day 23
We celebrated my father’s birthday and my sister in law’s birthday on Sunday. As I sit here and watch the snow falling today, cursing this freaking fracking weather and the months of freezing cold that’s upon us, I’m thankful we live near family. That is basically the only reason we live where we do, so I’m very thankful that we’re as close to our family as we are. Birthday parties, Sunday dinners, holidays- that’s what makes me happy.

(Warning: potty humor ahead)

Earlier this week I was at Target with the kids and we came upon a bin full of wooden holiday signs. They were adorable (and cheap!) and the kids wanted to pick up a few but I told them that we really don’t have room for them. Our house is small and I’m not a huge fan of decorative clutter.

Without missing a beat, Scorch picked up these two sign and told me they could go on the back of the toilet.

When I asked him why in the world we’d put them there, he told me that when you really have to go and you finally can in the privacy of your own home, all you feel is joy.  But when you look down and see what you’ve done, all you can say is “Oh dear…”

~*~*~*~

That right there perfectly sums up what life with a 9 year old boy is like. It’s full of potty talk and humor and whip-smart remarks. Scorch is my cuddly one, who will happily sit as close to me as possible and loves to read. He’s kind, sweet and a complete joy. He’s the happiest playing a team sport and will dance in public with me for the fun of it. He’s never met a stranger and will bend your ear off for hours at time about baseball or funny stories.

He’s also gross and disgusting; happy to watch the bathroom scene in Dumb and Dumber over and over and over, laughing until he can’t breath. He’s annoying and is constantly humming, whistling or making some random noises. It’s like living with an infant who just discovered his voice- only this infant comes with smelly feet and makes goat noises over and over and over just to annoy the holy hell out of his sister.

I’m thankful for this kid every second of every day- even when he’s screeching like a pterodactyl at 6:30 in the morning.

Today as I met my kids at school, both kids rushed to speak to me at the same time.

“I call the iPad!” they both yelled at me as quickly as they could the minute they saw me.

Not “hi” or “how are you?”- they were both too busy claiming use of our iPad to play Minecraft or watch Netflix. I wish I could tell you I was surprised, but I wasn’t. We’ve banned all electronics in the morning and most nights the kids have a very narrow window of time to use them, so (sadly) that time is highly coveted.

As we walked to the car, I reiterated to the kids our ground rules. No one gets any electronics until their homework is done. After that, the kids can take turns just as we’ve done every.single.day. for as long as I can remember.

Well, the Bean clearly remembers living another life because that child raged at me on the way home. I wasn’t fair, my rules weren’t fair, I loved Scorch more than I loved her, I should apologize to her for being such a mean mom and on and on and on. She built up such a head of steam that I couldn’t help but laugh on the inside. When we got home, we had a long conversation about respect and love and sucking it up even when you don’t like it because rules are rules.

She still wasn’t over being mad and she continued to be a stinker. I wasn’t allowed to touch her OR make eye contact with her once we got home and she needed help with her homework. I could NOT laugh at her and Scorch wasn’t allowed to speak to her. This child was pissed.

And I’m so damn thankful for her.

I’m thankful that she doesn’t take any crap (even when it’s not crap – it’s the family rule), I’m thankful that she speaks up loudly when she thinks things are unfair and I’m thankful that I get to help guide her into adulthood. I hope I can teach her that there is a time and place for her anger and how best to voice it. I hope I can teach her how to find her true passion and how to pursue it relentlessly.

As crazy making as it is, I’m thankful I can be the Bean’s soft place to land. She knows, despite what she may say, that she is loved beyond measure and because of that, she can vent her anger at me and know that I’ll still love her even when my feelings are hurt and apologies are needed.

I’m just thankful to be the Bean’s mom. Always will be, even when she’s raging.

Earlier this week, the Hubs set our alarm for 3 am. Then he carefully set his clothes out on the couch so he didn’t wake me while getting dressed- his BDUs, his cold weather layering shirt, his work shirt, thick socks and heavy duty boots- along with his gun belt, handcuffs, baton and the other paraphernalia he wears around his waist on a daily basis. He didn’t grumble or whine, he just went to bed early and got up a few hours later to do his job.

~*~*~

On days like that one, I wake up later than normal (because I can’t go to the gym first thing in the morning, leaving the kids home alone) and manage the morning routine with the kids solo. Most morning we’re lucky and the Hubs is around- but he’s gone just often enough that we can work well in his absence. We try to the call the Hubs on the way to school so the kids can say hi, but more often than not, he’s not able to talk.

When I get to the office, I text the Hubs to say hi and wish him well. I then start monitoring all the local news stations carefully, knowing full well if the Hubs is up that early whatever he’s doing is going to be big. In most cases the news starts rolling in mid-morning and I can be reassured that his radio silence is just because he’s busy and not hurt or handling a big emergency.  I say a little prayer of thanks and carry on with my day.

~*~*~

We’re one of the luckier ones in law enforcement. Make no mistake, the Hubs job is dangerous and scary but 85% of the time, his schedule is as close to normal as it can be. He’s home most nights for dinner- or at least bedtime. He doesn’t do shift work anymore and he has most weekends off.

My father was a police officer and he worked different shifts and weekends on and off my whole childhood. He – like most officers I know- did a remarkable job of adjusting his schedule to maximize his time with us, even if that meant years of working nights to the detriment to his health and sleep patterns, just so he could be there for as many games and activities as he could.

For the first 3 years of the Hub’s life in the law enforcement, he had rotating days off that weren’t guaranteed and had to call in every single day to find out which shift he was working the next day. So he could work a 3 pm – 11 pm shift one day, a 7 am – 3 pm shift the next and then start an 11 pm shift later that night. We were living 30 minutes outside of Washington, DC, where the Hubs worked, and often times, we had guys who lived much further out crashing on the couch in our 795 sq ft apartment when there literally wasn’t enough time to go to their home, sleep and make it back to work.

~*~*~

Police officers have been in the news a lot over the past year- mainly for misdeeds rather than their good deed (which, make no mistake, outnumber the bad by at least 95%). The Hubs, who wears clothing daily that identifies him as a cop, is very selective about where he eats lunch because of the looks and remarks he gets. He stopped in one place last week and the person serving him said that he doesn’t know why cops get a such bad rap when “only 50% of them were bad.” The sad thing is, “50% bad” was the nicest thing anyone said to him out in public for a while.

I firmly believe that, just like in any profession, the bad seeds should be weeded out. And I do believe that abuse of power should be punished, regardless of if you carry a badge. But I know that most police officers go into their job because they want to help people. They want to make sure that their communities are safe because they live there too. They want everyone to feel safer, for kids not to feel threatened no matter what neighborhood they live in and for those who do bad things to be brought to justice.

I’m thankful to be raised by a police officer and I’m thankful to married to one. I’m thankful that there are men and women out there that are willing to risk their lives, miss time with their families and sacrifice their well-being to ensure my kids can sleep safely at night.

Day 13
I had a post for Day 13 all written, then the events in Paris unfolded. I got the news notification on my phone as the kids and I were leaving the video store (yes, we’re dinosaurs). We had just grabbed a pizza and were looking forward to a quiet night at home. All during the movie, the Hubs and I kept showing each other the latest news on our phones, shocked and sorrowful. There was (and is) so much for my little family to be thankful for but in that night, it was hard to put into words when so many were hurting.

Day 14
Saturdays tend to be our at-home date nights. We order take out and rent a movie (this week it was Trainwreck). The kids are in bed by 8 and the evening is ours to eat and laugh and watch shows we’d never put on when the kids were awake. It isn’t always romantic or exciting, but I always look forward to this one night a week with the Hubs.

Day 15
I am so thankful that we have faith in something larger than ourselves. I’m thankful for our gorgeous church, mass and the comfort our faith gives us when times are rough. I’m always appreciative of those things, but especially when things are bad.

Day 16
The Hubs and I had parent-teacher conferences on Monday to discuss how the kids are doing this school year. I’m so very thankful for the school we send our kids to, the teachers that love them and the environment that supports them. Every parent loves to hear that their kid is amazing, but I’m so thankful to know that even when my kids aren’t amazing and are struggling, they have a support system not only at home, but at school as well, lifting them up and wanting nothing but the best for them. I’m thankful that my kids have teachers that take my concerns and thoughts seriously and work continuously to with the Hubs and I to ensure my kids are not only educated, but loved.

Day 17

Did you know today is World Prematurity Day? I do, thanks to my niece Lala. My crazy, zany, stubborn, funny, feisty, loving, smart niece was born 12 weeks early. She weighed 1 lb 14 oz and pretty much scared us all to death. She introduced a whole new vocabulary into our lives- CPAP, adjusted age, brain bleeds, NICU, and on and on.  That little firecracker turns 5 soon and we simply can’t imagine our life without her.  She is my favorite sass-pot, the Bean’s bestest friend and Scorch’s favorite kid. When we’re together, the cousins are inseparable and I couldn’t be more thankful for that little girl.

I think the Hubs is funny and he thinks I’m funny, but oddly enough, we really don’t have the same sense of humor. I’m more sly, sarcastic humor and he’s more farts and crude humor. I literally can’t sit through most of Jim Carey’s movies because I find them so annoying- which is a shame because Dumb and Dumber is one of the Hub’s favs.

We, blessedly, find common ground in shows like Arrested Development and Archer- but I still feel badly sometimes that I just can’t sit down and lose my mind over some of the things the Hubs finds funny. Which is why I’m so very thankful that Scorch can. Thanks to channels like TBS for editing the movies the Hub’s like for language and the sexual stuff, the two of them watch the stupidest movies and just howl. That makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst.

But today? Today we hit a huge parenting milestone when we introduced Scorch to Arrested Development. To hear my kid in the shower, cracking up saying “It walked on my pillow!” may be one of my proudest parenting moments ever.

Happy Veteran’s Day to those who have served! Thank you for your dedication and sacrifice on behalf of our country.

I have numerous family members and friends who have served in all branches of the military, many of whom have seen combat multiple times. We are lucky- all our friends and family came back whole. Unfortunately a lot of men and women aren’t so lucky. You can’t watch the news anymore without hearing stories about how our vets are under-served and hurting.

Sometimes saying thank you isn’t enough and there are lot of little ways you can help improve the life of our veterans:

The Hubs and I are huge supporters of the Wounded Warrior Project – an organization dedicated to helping wounded vets live the life the deserve. Their site lists various ways you can help their organization from donating money to working local events.

Want to something more tangible? Check out DAV- Disabled American Veterans. There are lots of ways to help, but one of the most immediate is driving local veteran‘s to their medical appointments.

Travel a lot? Donate some of your frequent flyer miles to family members of wounded soldier’s so they can be by their soldier’s side as they recuperate from their injuries.

Send a care package or a letter to troops stationed overseas.Operation Gratitude guides you through how to send letters and packages to deployed troops, veterans and wounded warriors. This is a perfect time of year to do this with the holidays coming up so quickly!

Want to do something more? Check out the list of all these charities and see which ones do the best job supporting our troops.

Today I’m thankful to live in a place where my vote counts.

Did you know that 100 year ago, women in the US weren’t allowed to vote? We weren’t granted the right to have our voices heard until 1920. That is mind boggling to me.

And thankfully, that is something that is even more mind boggling to Scorch and Bean. They simply can’t fathom a world where a woman doesn’t have equal say in what’s happening in her world. I know a lot of people say that our votes don’t really counts or matter- that’s a debate for another time. What I *do* know is that voting is my right and my responsibility and because of that, I’ll do my best to an educated, involved voter.

Most poling places are open until 9 here in NY- there is still plenty of time to make sure your voice is heard on important local matters!

The Bad: The Hubs had to work all weekend long.
The Good: The kids didn’t have school on Friday, so I used that plus the Hubs working as an excuse to get the kids out of town to go visit my sister and her family down in VA!

The Good: The kids were amazing on the 7 hour drive and we had a fantastic weekend hanging out with my sister, her husband, and their two kids. We did some fun fall things, my sister and I got to have a night out and do some shopping thanks to my brother-in-law and I got to sleep in til 9 every morning since my sister was already up with her kids and really, the kids don’t need 3 adults watching them.
The Bad: My sister’s whole family was either getting over a cold or in the midst of one. Guess who caught that cold and is now feeling like death warmed over, with a side of Rudoph-nose? That’d be me.

The Good: We had our first hard frost today. They only really good thing about it is that it’s gorgeous.
The Bad: It’s also slippery as hell- something I forgot when I went out to warm up our cars. I slipped on our top step and fell 3 steps down.
The Ugly: You guys, the bruises. My right arm from my wrist to my elbow is one big bruise. I won’t even tell you about my behind because I’m a lady. Just know, it ain’t pretty.
The Bad: I may have yelled Mother F’er when I fell and Scorch may have been within hearing distance. I’m a lady, I tell you.

The Good: Scorch is more or less loving school. There are a few issues, but for the most part, he’s a happy kid.
The Bad: O.M.G – he’s had a project due every week for the past 3 weeks. A book report two weeks ago, a map of NY State with 5 land masses, two great lakes, the finger lakes, our city, the state capital and a few other things all labeled on it last week. And this week, a project about a saint- including a costume and a written report. Now, thankfully he’s old enough that this is 85% HIS work- but enough. The regular homework isn’t slowing down to accommodate this and I’m so damn tired. I should not have this much glitter and glue in my house ever.

The Good: Nyquil, soft tissues and the ability to work from home in comfy clothes while medicated.
The Bad: I really don’t have time for this nonsense. Still, so worth it to see my fam.

Well, it’s been a while, huh? I’m very happy to report that the Fall hasn’t killed us yet. After the rather bumpy start, things have leveled off very nicely.

Both kids are loving school, Scorch finished Fall baseball and we had two whole weeks where we only had one thing to do each week after school. It was bliss. That blissful time is now over as basketball, flag football and ice skating are all starting, but that’s OK. We’re in a groove, we’ve got this (I think) (I hope).

Scorch is learning that 4th grade homework is no joke (hello, 3 subjects a night). Thankfully he’s understanding his work, but it takes time and he’s had some tearful nights as he’s realized that not going to Homework Room during after-school care means a lot less time playing at home. Those are fun nights for everyone. Who doesn’t love having a side of tears with their dinner, right? So he’s 95% awesome, 5% snotty-tear stained mess.

And the Bean- she’s just killing it in 2nd grade and it makes my heart so happy. 1st grade was not a great school year for her, so I was honestly dreading going back to school this year. But she is blowing me away with her maturity. Last year, we were lucky if she literally said 5 words to her teacher. This year she’s raising her hand, talking in class, happily doing her work. Watching your kid thrive has to be the best feeling the world.

As for me, I’m just soaking up as much Vitamin D outside as humanly possible enjoying this gorgeous season. NY winters may suck, but man oh man….the Fall is gorgeous.