Monthly Archives: October 2011

Oct27

The God’s Honest Truth

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I went out tonight with some of my favorite people for our monthly girls night (more on how freaking happy these nights make me soon). Anyhow, when we were out, conversation  naturally turned to our kids and I joked around with the women I was out with about my kids- the Bean’s temper, Scorch’s tears, our bedtime frustrations, the puking incident last night.  We all had a lot of laughs but on the way home all I could think about is what impression the new person in our group must have had about me, my kids and my mothering after the conversation we just had.  I hope she had enough of a sense of humor to find my stories entertaining and enough intuition to pick up just how much I love my kids.

Because I really, really do- that is the God’s honest truth.

The Bean makes me crazy and drives me to such extremes I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes.  She’s stubborn and strong and such a gigantic pain in the ass some nights that I do wonder what I did to deserve all this.  She can lie like a criminal, fight like a boxer and dig her heels in deeper then anyone I know.

She’s also funny as all get out, sweet as pie, and the biggest love bug I know.  The Bean is sunshine and joy and pure enjoyment 90% of the time.  She’s as smart as a whip and a complete delight to talk to.  I laugh so hard I get tears in my eyes when she “reads” me stories every night, complete with her own funny voices.  Although I often joke about giving her to the circus, I can’t imagine a single day with out her in it.  That’s the God’s honest truth.

Scorch is a drama queen.  For as stubborn and mule headed as the Bean can be, Scorch is equally as dramatic. The boy is ridiculous about all this stuff- his fossils, his stuffed animals, his rock collection. Throw anything away and be prepared for 30 minutes of tears.

But Scorch is also a compete joy.  He’s funny, sweet and caring.  For every time he wacks his sister, there are 10 other times that he give her what she wants just to see her smile.  He still wants to sit on my lap and is known for just wanting a hug and kiss just because.  He’s smart and coordinated and funny and goes out of his way to make people happy. He’s polite and simply a lot of fun to be around as he always has a fun comment or observation.  The God’s honest truth is that little boy owns my heart and I’m blessed to have both him and his sister in my life.

 

Oct26

Good & Bad

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The Bad

> Scorch came home from school feeling fine and then proceeded to puke everywhere 2 hours later. When the Hubs wasn’t home. So I had to clean it up. By myself.  All that = my worst nightmare come to life.
> The Bean woke up 2 days ago at 5 am and decided she was up for the day. I begged to differ, so I made her stay in bed until she finally fell back asleep at 6:15 am.  Last night she woke up at 3 am and we had the same battle until 4:20 am.
> Because of the Bean’s sleep battles, I’ve been too damn tired to get up and out at 5:10 to work out, so I’m feeling like an exhausted  slug.
> It’s supposed to snow tomorrow.

The Good

> I went to the library and found Bossypants just sitting there on the shelf for the taking. Mind you, it was the large print edition, but I’ve been on the waiting list for this book for months, so I’m thrilled. I also found a Vince Flynn book I hadn’t read (I hope!) and another good sounding book. Hoping this pushes me out of my reading slump.  I’m currently reading The Poisonwood Bible, but it’s still too early to determine if I like it or not.
> We booked our camping trip for the summer!  Sure, it’s 9 months away, but at least I’ve got something to look forward to.
> Scorch went to bed early tonight, so the Hubs and I got to spend some one on one time with the Bean.  Even if she is a pain in the butt, she’s pretty darn awesome and it’s fun to watch her shine.
> I didn’t gag, freak out, or run out of the room crying when Scorch got sick so I am feeling like a Responsible Parent.

Here’s hoping that tomorrows good outweighs the bad again!

Oct25

A Duel At Dawn

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Ever since Scorch was a baby, he has woken up at the same time just about every day. He has never been one of those kids who will sleep in late to make up for going to bed late. 7:30 pm or 11 pm, it really doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed- with the rare exception, the kid is up between 6 and 6:30 every day. I’m always fascinated when I share a room with Scorch at how consistent his body clock is. Right around 5 am he’ll turn from a deep sleeper to one who starts tossing and turning and by 6 am he’s up. That’s just how he’s wired. When he was a baby, he would get up even earlier then 6, so we made a rule in the house that he cannot call for us or get out of bed before 6 am and that’s been our routine for the past 3 years.

I’ll admit that that has made us a pretty schedule driven family. We may deviate from the bedtime by 30 minutes, but I’m not a fan of getting the kids to bed super late because there will be hell to pay in the shape of one over tired, uber-whiny kid the next day.

Which is exactly what happened a few weekends ago. The kiddos got to bed late one night for whatever reason and, like clockwork, Scorch was calling for us to get out of bed at 6 am. So I set him up with his favorite (long) movie and I went back to bed where the Hubs, Beaner and I all slept until 8 am. Scorch won’t nap any more so by 5 pm he was a crying, crazy mess because he was so stinking tired. By bedtime, the Hubs informed Scorch that under no circumstances is he allowed out of bed before 7 am any more the weekends. Period. That’s it. Don’t even bother arguing.

The Hubs was darn proud of himself for laying down the law and also a little giddy at the thought of not getting out of bed until 7. Too bad his vision of how things would go the next morning didn’t exactly line up to reality. 6 am dawned at Scorch was wide awake in his bed. So even though he didn’t get out of his room as instructed, he proceeded to:

> Call for us every 10 minutes for this or that.
> Go to the bathroom 3 times- trips that included turing on the hallway light and the bathroom light, banging around and generally being as loud as possible.
> Singing to himself in his room
> Whistling when told he had to stop singing
> Setting up an elaborate play with all his stuffed animals complete with 3 different voices.

We get more sleep when we just let him get up at 6 am and chill in front of a movie! But the Hubs is convinced we can train Scorch into sleeping longer if we keep this up. I’m of the mind we’re fighting a losing war- his body is just made to get up early. What say you?

Oct23

Like a Rug…

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“Bean, did you go potty?”

Simple question, right? The Hubs asked the Bean that after she and I had gotten done brushing her teeth before bed.

“Yes, Daddy.”

(Me) “You did not, I was standing in the bathroom with you the whole time!”

“Oh”

We’re noticing more and more that the Bean is lying to us.  I know it’s completely developmentally normal- I even know that it’s a good milestone for her to hit. We want her to lie to us- it shows complex brain development and the ability to react on the fly.  But..it doesn’t make it any less crazy.

I want to sit down and tell the Bean, that yes, we’ll always know when you used the potty (not hard to check the bowl, sister) and we’ll know if you washed your hands (that soap has a strong smell).  We’ll know if you brushed your teeth with one sniff of your breath and we’ll know if you really cleaned up your room with a quick glance. Each time we catch her in a lie, she looks at us like we’re geniuses and all we can do is not laugh at her. I’m hoping if she thinks we’re all seeing and all knowing now, she’ll just give up.

A mother can dream…

Oct19

For Your Listening Pleasure…

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When the kids came home from school today we had our usual Kitchen Dance Party.  I threw on some  music (today it was “I Gotta Feeling” by Blacked Eyed Peas) and we shook our bodies until we’re all cracking up and out of breath.  All was going great until Scorch told us to look at him because he wanted to show us his Justin Bieber moves.

His WHAT?

I don’t have an issue with the Biebs himself- but he’s not my cup of tea, so we’ve never listened to him or even talked about him at our house before. So Scorch must have learned about His Hairness at school.  And frankly, I’m not ready for my kid to be influenced by his friends yet. Especially not influenced into listening to music like that when there is so much other great music out there.

So, I did what any other self-respecting parent would do. I got online and found good music for the kids to listen to.  Cream, Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Steve Miller Band, Barenaked Ladies, Billy Idol, U2, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, & Billy Joel.  Looking back, I realize my play list makes me seem old- but it was hard to come up with appropriate songs that my 5 & 3 year old would both like.   Thank goodness, they are fully aware of the musical genius that is Jimmy Buffett, so if nothing else, at least I did that right.

I may have gotten a little over zealous with my music sharing though considering Scorch told me he didn’t want to go to bed because he’d have nightmares about Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.

But tell me- what do you listen to with (or without) your kids?  I may not be able to control everything, but I’ll be damned if my kids are getting sucked into crappy music yet.  I was at least 10 before the cult of NKOTB drew me in!

Oct17

Redefining Success

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On Sunday Scorch got to go to a birthday party for one of his classmates.  The whole class was invited to this costume party so Scorch was beyond excited to go.  Every night during the week leading up to it, we had to count down how many more days until the Big Event. We had some major debates as to which accessories that went with his costume were appropriate for the party.  Fake grenade? Toy gun? Canteen? Just what does the well dressed fake solider need to be convincing?

The Hubs and I debated all week over which parent got to spend the time at the party versus which got to spend a few quality hours with the Bean.  Frankly, I could have used those hours at home to get a lot with only one child underfoot- Scorch’s book case needs to be weeded out, we still have some winter clothes that are MIA, the family room needed to be dusted.  We all know the to-do list never ends but I ultimately decided to go to the party.

And I’m so glad I did!  My kids go to a small school with one class per grade usually starting in Kindergarten. That means that Scorch will be in class with the same kids for the next 6 years- which also means we need to make friends with these parents.  These are the parents we’ll be chaperoning school trips with, organizing class parties next to and making small talk with at a lot of parties over the years.  While it would be nice to meet a new BFF among the parents, I’m happy enough if I don’t make a complete fool out of myself in front of them.  As far as I can tell, I managed the two hour party with my fly up, no food in my teeth and without falling over and/or using bad language in front of the kids.  If that’s not success, I don’t know what is.

Oct16

Books, books and more books.

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I feel like I have books coming out my ears and it’s awesome.  Every Thursday after school we have some time to kill before gymnastics, so we had to the library to hang out for an hour.  This allows all of us to pick up some books to bring home for the week.  We’re having a ball with some of the kids books we get.  Here are some that we’ve been loving lately:

> Anything by Mo Willems. It’s a toss up who loves Gerald and Piggie more, me or the kids! Add in the occasional Knuffle Bunny & Edwina and we could read Mo all day long.

> Either Martha book by Samantha Berger. Martha reminds us of a certain little girl who shall remain nameless, so while we laugh at Martha, I’m also really hoping that little girl is learning a thing or two.

> The Magic Tree House series.  Now, these don’t hold the Bean’s attention, but most of them will hold Scorch’s, so we try to carve out some time for books just for him.

> Bad Kitty by Nick Bruel. Poor kitty- she’s not happy about having to eat healthy food so she goes on a rampage (and makes us laugh).

> The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. How can you not love a princess who tells a prince off when he proves to be a jerk?

Sadly, I’m not having as much luck in the book department. I’ve slogged through quite a few books that frankly have sucked.  The last book I read that I really enjoyed was Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese.  Really beautifully written book about a time and I place I really didn’t know a lot about.  Anyone have any good book recs for me or the kids?

Oct13

Hyenas

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For homework over the long weekend, Scorch had to make a poster filled with pictures of his favorite animal.  Awesome! I was thinking cats or dogs or maybe even moose- they are a favorite ever since the Hubs went to Alaska a few years back.  Oh no- not my kid.  His pick?  Hyenas.

Seriously, kid? Hyenas?

No joke, he wants to makes a picture collage of hyenas.  Cute, cuddly hyenas.  When I asked him why, he told me how he liked them because they were both predators and scavengers. And that they lived in big family units and the mom’s take really good care of their babies.  Alright then- I decided I could get behind this idea.  But Scorch wasn’t done explaining yet.

“Plus- spotted hyena girls have something on them that looks like a pen.is and that is awesome! Because everyone should have a pen.is.”

Clearly, I need to start limiting the nature documentaries that boy watches.

Oct12

Perspective

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Today was not a stellar day.

The day after I have a hard night with the kids, I feel guilty. Guilty that I yelled. Guilty that I can’t figure out how to manage the Bean better. Guilty that I don’t keep as calm as I want to.  Guilty that the last thing my kids heard me say to them before bed was “Go to bed- I don’t want to hear an other peep from you!”  Guilty that the Bean is going to read this blog in a few years and just see the negativity and not see the joy she brings to our lives. Just plain old guilty.

Then I called the car dealership about this random blinking light in my van.  Turns out that random light means the air bag system in my car isn’t working.  The cost to fix it could run as much as $4000.  I almost cried. That’s a 4th of the total cost of the whole damn van!

Throw in lost car keys, running out of Hershey’s Syrup (a girl needs her chocolate milk!), a washer full of pieces of straw (don’t ask) and a few other minor insults and I decided today is simply not destined to be a good day.

Then reality slapped me in the face when I found out a friend of mine’s mother passed away. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but still completely heartbreaking.

My worries? Sure- they are big in my world today, but in the grand scheme of things they are nothing.  Money comes and money goes. The Bean will eventually go to sleep again (please God, let that be true). The keys will show up and the grocery store will stock Hershey’s Syrup again.  My kids know I love them dearly and I really don’t think occasionally losing my cool is going to result in huge therapy bills for them.   And the end of the day, I have a healthy, happy family- the rest is just minor details.

Oct11

Go to Sleep (Part 234)

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Ah..the night before the return to school after a 4 day weekend. Oh, how I loathe thee.  The kids are all amped up and I’m feeling the pressure to make sure they are in bed on time so they get enough sleep.  Instead… we have a night like this one.

My kids should have been in bed asleep 45 minutes ago. Instead, Scorch is in his room telling stories to his 59 stuffed animals on his bed and the Bean is in bed sobbing for me.  Why? Because she doesn’t want the water I gave her earlier- she wants fresh water.  The problem is that it’s already fresh. First the Hubs filled it up for her.  Then 5 minutes later, she told me she wanted new water. I had no idea that the Hubs had just given her a fresh cup, so I dumped it out and filled her up again.  But now 10 minutes later, she wants even newer water.

My mama didn’t raise no fool- I know she’s stalling and trying to make me dance, so I told her no and kissed her good night. These are the nights I thank the Good Lord that we live in the country because if we didn’t, I think the cops would have been called due to that child’s screams. You’d think we were torturing her with a branding iron.

I knew the night wasn’t going to go well when the Hubs went to throw our steaks on the grill and realized we ran out of propane. That right there is a sign to just pack it in- things are not going to end well.  When he finally came home with a new propane tank, I went to start up the grill while he set the table. I can now confirm that yes, burned hair smells terrible and yes, you can absolutely can singe the hair off your arms. It’s a sexy look, let me tell you.

Tomorrow night has to go better, right? If nothing else, the kids will be so exhausted after a full day of school that I can at least put them to bed uber-early.