Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Apr1

No Good Deed…

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The Hubs and are I very lucky that, thanks to a great babysitter and family nearby, that we get to go out without kids at least once a month.  Typically these dates are very fluid- if we have to cancel our sitter due to any sort of emergency, it’s not a big deal. Very rarely do we have an engagement on a specific date that we really can’t miss.

This past Friday was one of those dates.  I had gotten the Hubs tickets to a show for Christmas and the long awaited day finally arrived. We were psyched- we had dinner planned with friends before hand, then the show.

That is why I wasn’t at all surprised when I checked my messages before leaving the gym at 6:30 am Friday to see the Hubs texted me to tell me the Bean threw up.  Of course she did.

Being the planner that I am, I had plans A, B & C formulated in my head before I got home 15 minutes later.  One way or the other, the Hubs was going to this show even if I couldn’t join him.  Thankfully the Bean was feeling fine by 11 am and my Mom, bless her, still offered to come up and babysit for us.  We had a great night- a night so great that it proved to me once again that I’m not 21 any more, nor can I act like it if I expect to get up and be a productive member of society the next day.

Unfortunately for my mom, she also paid for her kindness by spending all last night sick with a stomach bug. I guess it’s true- no good deed does go unpunished.

 

Mar27

Blessed Be the School Secretaries

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The ongoing saga of getting medicine into Bean continues…

Last we left off, the Hubs and I were trying to get the powder from the capsules into her food so she’d ingest it. We were, at best, minimally successful, so I called the doctor’s Monday morning to see what else he could recommend. Honestly, I was hoping he’d suggest a shot of antibiotic because frankly, it would have been easier on all of us.  But, he didn’t- instead we decided on an antibiotic that could be easily flavored in the hopes of at least getting her to choke it down.

It took her 45 minutes, 3 meltdowns, countless threats of being held down so the medicine could be squirted in her mouth*, a half a bag of M&M and some cheese balls for her to take about 3/4 of it.  I promised her I’d get her more goodies if only she’d take her medicine.  That is why I found myself at a gas station at 6:30 this morning, sweaty and yucky from working out, stocking up on soda, M&Ms, and munchkins from Dunkin Dounuts. And even after all that, we only got 1/2 of her dose (which is only 1 tsp mind you) down her.

So I did what any desperate, out-of-ideas parent would do.

I took the Bean’s medicine to school and begged the school secretaries to give her her medicine at lunch time. I stressed that she probably wouldn’t take it and for them not to stress out about it, but if they could give it a try I’d be eternally grateful. I left the school convinced this was going to end badly for them and the Bean.

When I went back to school that afternoon to get the medicine from the office, the secretaries told me she took it all without a fuss.

Of course she did- because she’s out to give me a nervous breakdown and to make me look like a fool in front of the school staff. The Bean is so lucky she’s so darn cute.

 

Mar25

Little Snot

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The Bean has had a rather rough weekend.

She woke up Saturday unhappy- her PJs weren’t comfy, she didn’t want to watch anything on TV, she didn’t want to play a game, she had to go potty put didn’t want to get up and on and on and on.  At first I chalked it up to her not getting enough sleep and being mad at the Hubs and I for leaving her with a sitter Friday night but about an hour after getting up, she laid down on the kitchen floor, burst into tears and told me her throat hurt.  We were at the doctor’s an hour later to confirm that the Bean had strep throat.

The Bean sobbed the entire 15 minute car ride home because strep throat meant missing her best friend’s birthday party that morning.  A party that promised her closest friends, bouncing in bounce house and cake- all before noon.  She was heartbroken to miss out on the fun.

To add insult to injury (or in this case, illness), the Hubs and I have spent all weekend long trying to sneak the Bean her medicine. I’ve chronicled our complete failure at getting the Bean to take liquid medicine , so her doctor and I agreed that getting her antibiotic in capsule form may be easier. This way I could just break apart the capsule and sneak the powder into her food- easy peasy.

Hahahahahahaha….clearly, I’m overly optimistic.

First, no matter how we pulverize the damn powder, I can’t get it fine enough to blend into her drinks- it floats on top. She doesn’t like the consistency in her food even though we’ve tried everything- including the brilliant idea of crumbling oreos into her pudding to mask the grittiness.  We’ve managed to get a lot of the meds down her, but it’s been a battle- the poor Bean doesn’t want to eat anything we give her anymore because she’s sure we put meds in it now.

She finally lost it before bedtime and just cried and cried. She’s normally a tough cookie, so I was feeling horribly for her. I laid down next to her and we were having a sweet little conversation about how I’m glad she felt better and the importance of medicine and how proud I was of her for being so brave. During the talk she’s cuddling against me- a rarity in itself- when she snuggled her head in closer to my shoulder. I asked her if she was getting comfortable and she said, “nope, I’m just wiping my boogers on you.”

Of course she is. So glad she’s feeling better and back to her charming self.

 

Mar21

Boys and Girls

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Almost a year to the day after Scorch was born, Dancer was born. Dancer is one of my best friends (and neighbor’s) daughter. When Dancer’s mom had to go back to work after she was born, Dancer came to our house every day to be watched by our nanny.  A year and a couple months after Dancer was born, the Bean came along.  For a year, the three of them were watched at my house and were as close as siblings.

Scorch and Dancer were the big kids and Bean the baby.  The two of them were best friends and played everything together.  When Dancer was three she started at a new day care and while the kids don’t see each other daily, they are still good friends.  Up until about 6 months ago, it was still the two of them and then Bean, the baby, tagging along.

But now the Bean is older- she’s closer to 4 than 3 and Dancer, very much a girly girl, gravitates to her instead of Scorch when the kids play. The girls do all the stereotypical things that girls do together- like play dolls and have tea parties.  Scorch is suddenly the odd man out after being the ring leader for so long- something he’s not at all happy about!

None of that was more apparent then when we went out to dinner tonight. My friend and I sat at a table by the kids, but we let Scorch, Bean & Dancer be by themselves. They had some things to play with (cars, coloring stuff, etc) but they obviously couldn’t run around so we told them to make conversation.

Hey Dancer, do you know who the Flash is?

Oh. Well, who’s your favorite super hero?

Have you ever seen Ben 10? You’d like Gwen.

What? No- I don’t like princesses.

Do you want to play cars?

No- this is not the baby car! They are all cars- they shoot each other and crash into each other, they don’t live in a house together.

Mom- why are the girls giggling again?!

And on and on. Too bad poor Scorch didn’t think things were nearly as funny as we did!

 

Mar20

Funny Bone

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The kids were riding bikes on the driveway after work today and they decided to race. The Big Wheel vs the 2 Wheeler- not really a fair fight but they were having a great time until the Bean decided to cheat.  Scorch got mad and yelled for her to “turn yourself around!”

I couldn’t resist so I asked him if he was going to ask her to do the hokey pokey?

Dumb, dumb joke but Scorch laughed so hard he had tears running down his face.  He had to sit down to catch his breath after the hysterics subsided and he told me I was the funniest person he knows.

That really why I had kids you know. I wanted a captive audience who were good for my ego.

Mar16

Good Riddence

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I have never been so happy to see the end of the week.

Post-vacation blues + a horrible work week +  a kid who did not adjust well to being back at school + a sick husband + reading one of the most touching books ever = me being a basket case all week long.

But- it’s Friday night. We watched Bolt (I love that movie), the kids are in bed asleep and I have what I hope will be a very funny book to start to counteract all the generally yuckiness this week. The weather is supposed to be picture perfect this weekend and things will turn around, darn it!

Hope y’ll have a great weekend too.

Mar14

IT (or: The Hubs is a Sick Man)

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I hate scary movies. The Scream movies? Yeah- too scary for me to enjoy.

It all started when I was a kid and saw the mini-series It based on the Stephen King novel.  Have you guys ever seen that? It’s about a psychotic clown that comes back to kill a group of adults it fought against 30 years prior. I had no business seeing that movie- I wasn’t even a teenager when it came out.  Scared. Me. To. Death.

The Hubs knows this and if he didn’t know this, it became very apparent after we went to see the movie Signs (the alien one with Mel Gibson by M Night Shyamlan) back in 2002. I don’t know why we went to see this- I think we went with another couple and I was too stupid to speak up.  But anyhow- we saw the movie, had dinner and the Hubs and I went back to our apartment for the night.

I was a nervous wreck going back to the apartment- sure something sinister was waiting there for us.  The Hubs teased me the whole ride home about how I was acting- he thought it was a riot.  A quick check of the place (and the fact that the Hubs carries a gun for a living) helped ease my mind so I went into the bathroom to get changed and wash up for the night.  When I was done, I went to hang up my shirt in the closest.

(Can you see where this is going?)

Standing in the closest, between my clothes was the Hubs, holding a flashlight under his face.  He didn’t say a word- he didn’t have to.

To say I freaked out would be a gross understatement- I think I left my body for a minute. I screamed bloody murder and immediately burst into tears and collapsed on the floor.  Besides dashing any dreams I had about one day being strong enough to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it also drove home the point to the Hubs that 1) scary movies and I don’t mix and that 2) scaring your wife to the point of hysterics is not a good idea.

Fast forward 10 years.  Every morning I’m the first one up. I work out, cool off and shower before anyone else in the house is up- it’s been our routine for months now.  You can imagine my shock when I pulled back the shower curtain this morning to find the words “It” painted on the wall with red bath paint made to look like dripping blood.

image from fanpop.com

The Hubs is damn lucky I didn’t wake the house with my screaming this morning. But don’t worry, he’ll get his when I can’t sleep tonight and keep him all night to keep me company.

 

 

Mar13

Aren’t You Glad I Asked?

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Earlier today I found Scorch standing up in the living room with his hand hovering about a half an inch over his rear end. He looked very serious and I couldn’t figure out what he was up to- so I asked.

“I have to toot- so I’m trying to see how far I can push my pants out when I do.”

So glad I asked.

Mar12

Tips for Surviving the Road & Disney World

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I forgot how much reentry into the real world take out of you!  I had to wake the kids up this morning (unheard of from Scorch), leave a sobbing kid in the arms of their teacher, deal with 500+ emails at work, do 8 loads of laundry, get our taxes signed and get the snacks together for the kid’s Leader Day at school tomorrow.  In short, I’m fried.  But I have been working on mental list of all the things I learned after living through a 2400+ plus mile road trip with my kids and going to Disney World for 3 days.  It’s not exactly riveting reading material, but I hope it helps someone!

The Road Trip

1) I hear about a lot of families who leave for long road trips at the kids bedtime and drive through the night while their kids sleep. Sounds great in theory, but that would never work for us.  First, the Hubs and I need our sleep and we’re miserable people without it.  Second, the Bean doesn’t sleep in the car.  She never has even as an infant- so trying to force her to as someone (*cough*TheHubs*cough*) tried on that first day was an epic failure. In fact, the only meltdown we had on the trip was when the Hubs wanted to drive further an hour past the kids bedtime instead of settling in at a hotel.
The Lesson: know your kids schedule/ability and stick to that. It’ll make life more pleasant for everyone.

2) I stocked our car with all sorts of fun things for when we traveled.  New coloring books, markers, games, etc. Sadly, what worked best were the DVD players.  Yes- plural.  We have one overhead DVD player in the car and that’s perfect for 99% of the trips we take.  But when you’re logging 12 hour days in the car, it was much nicer to be able to give them their own DVD player (that we borrowed!) and headphones and let them zone out that way. We avoided a lot of arguing and tears that way.
The Lesson: never underestimate the power of technology.

3) The Hubs is the type of guy who likes to drive until he is either on the very last fume in the gas tank or until his bladder is going to burst.  Frequent stops aren’t in his DNA.  But with the kids we found ourselves stopping every 2-3 hours for a bathroom break. During those breaks we raced around the rest areas, played tag or did a quick kiddy bootcamp to work some of the crazies out.  We also made sure to stop for at least 1 sit down meal a day. Even if it was Denny’s, it was a welcome break from the car and all the crappy food we were consuming on the go.
The Lesson: stop and stop often, especially if your kids don’t nap anymore but are still young enough to scream the car down.

Braving Disney World

1) We don’t own a stroller anymore- in fact, I can’t tell you the last time we used one. The Bean may have sat in one all of a dozen times her whole life.  But when you’re in Disney, that doesn’t matter. Either bring your own stroller or pony up the money ($31 for a double stroller for a day) for one- it’ll be the best money you spend.  Disney is crazy busy with literally tens of thousands of people walking everywhere.  Many attractions are far away from each other and you’re hiking all over trying to see them all.  Having the kids strapped in not only kept my  kids safe, but it also made sure they weren’t exhausted, overtired crankpots 3 hours into the day.
The Lesson: the stroller is God at Disney.

 

2) When we first planned this trip to FL, going to Disney wasn’t on my agenda.  I was worried that the Bean was too young to really enjoy it and I didn’t want to spend all that money (hint: Disney World is expensive) on something she wouldn’t really enjoy.  I was right. We obviously ended up at Disney anyhow (thru the generosity of some amazing family members) and had an absolutely wonderful time, but the Bean was too young for a lot of things so we spent a fair amount of time people watching, walking around and just taking in the sights as opposed to riding on rides.  And that was fine- we had an amazing time!  But I am glad I went into this trip with my expectation set lower for the Bean so I wasn’t freaking out over money wasted or experiences missed. I didn’t want to be that Mom standing in line with a sobbing kid threatening them to have fun or else. (All that said, at 5, Scorch *loved* almost everything geared for his age!)
The Lesson: your kid can only handle what they can handle. Trying to force them to have fun or try something that terrifies them will not end well.

Guess the ride?

3) When we were at the Magic Kingdom, we bought lunch on our first day.  We got 2 adult meals (burger & fries), 1 hamburger kids meal and 1 PB&J kids meal. It cost us $53.  Disney lets you bring in food to the park, but we thought bringing in a cooler or snacks would be too difficult, so we didn’t.  Honestly, the food would have been better if we did and we would have saved a bundle.
The Lesson: plan ahead and bring in what you can easily carry. Your kids will most likely enjoy that food more then the $12 burger anyhow. 😉

4) We were lucky enough to have my parents with us our whole time in FL and while we were in Disney, the Hubs uncle and cousin joined us for some of the time.  A 6 – 2 adults to kids ratio sounds like over kill, but it was perfect! There was always someone who could watch the kids while the adults did a scarier ride and it allowed the Hubs and I to be able to enjoy this vacation a lot more.
The Lesson: travel in packs.

5) When we first got to the Magic Kingdom, our tour guide (The Hub’s uncle) ushered us to the back of the park to hit the Peter Pan ride. Why? It’s the most popular one in the Magic Kingdom.  If I took nothing else away from this trip, it’s 1) hit the most popular rides first (our wait time was 10 minutes- within 1 hours of opening, it was a 50 minute wait) and 2) use your fast pass!  Fast pass allows you to reserve your spot in a ride- you check in and are told what time to come back.  When you do, you’re usually on the ride within 5 minutes, totally bypassing the line. So worth it.
The Lesson: hit up the popular rides first and don’t forget to use the Fast Pass.

6) Out of all the things we did while at Disney World, the thing my kids liked the most was meeting the characters. We met Donald, Goofy, Pluto, Belle, Princess Aurora, Cinderella, Woody, Jessie, Micky, Minnie and a few others I can’t remember. Yes, it was a pain in the rear standing in line to meet them, but so so so worth it!  I bought the kids autograph books and special pens that they kept with them for just this purpose- those encounters were the highlight of the trips for my kids.  A little tip- when in the Magic Kingdom, go to the Town Square Theater- there you can stand in line to meet the princesses or to meet Micky & Minnie.  The meet and greet with Micky is called “Backstage at Mickey’s Magic Show”- so we didn’t have a clue we could actually meet The Mouse there.  Evidently no one else did either because we were in line less then 5 minute before the kids met him and Minnie- easily the shortest line of the day!
The Lesson: Get (or make) an autograph book and soak in the looks on your kids faces when they finally meet some of their favorites!

 

There endth the lessons. I think.  I may have more, but that’s all I can remember for now! After all that, the Hubs and I were talking how we can’t wait to do this again next year! 🙂

 

Mar11

Home Again

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We’re back!  During the past 11 days we drove to FL and back, visited family along the way, spent some time at the beach, went to the Clearwater Aquarium and met Winter, spent a day at the Magic Kingdom, visited Disney Hollywood Studios, watched the kids dance in the Lion King production at Animal Kingdom and shopped at Downtown Disney.  We got sunburned, laughed a lot, ate way too much great food and made a whole lot of memories.

All in all, the trip was just about perfect!

Cinderella's Castle

If anyone cares to hear my thoughts about visiting Disney with a 3 year old and a 5 year old or how to survive a 1200 mile trip (one way!) in the car, let me know.