Author Archives: Heather

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About Heather

I adore my family, writing, books, cats, lazy mornings in bed, and chocolate. I'll never say no to breakfast for dinner, long talks with friends and lazy summer days at the pool with family. My life is often crazy, always awesome and one I'm so happy to be living! My side hustle is editing and proofing work. Find out more at https://heathercaryn.com/
Oct11

Go to Sleep (Part 234)

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Ah..the night before the return to school after a 4 day weekend. Oh, how I loathe thee.  The kids are all amped up and I’m feeling the pressure to make sure they are in bed on time so they get enough sleep.  Instead… we have a night like this one.

My kids should have been in bed asleep 45 minutes ago. Instead, Scorch is in his room telling stories to his 59 stuffed animals on his bed and the Bean is in bed sobbing for me.  Why? Because she doesn’t want the water I gave her earlier- she wants fresh water.  The problem is that it’s already fresh. First the Hubs filled it up for her.  Then 5 minutes later, she told me she wanted new water. I had no idea that the Hubs had just given her a fresh cup, so I dumped it out and filled her up again.  But now 10 minutes later, she wants even newer water.

My mama didn’t raise no fool- I know she’s stalling and trying to make me dance, so I told her no and kissed her good night. These are the nights I thank the Good Lord that we live in the country because if we didn’t, I think the cops would have been called due to that child’s screams. You’d think we were torturing her with a branding iron.

I knew the night wasn’t going to go well when the Hubs went to throw our steaks on the grill and realized we ran out of propane. That right there is a sign to just pack it in- things are not going to end well.  When he finally came home with a new propane tank, I went to start up the grill while he set the table. I can now confirm that yes, burned hair smells terrible and yes, you can absolutely can singe the hair off your arms. It’s a sexy look, let me tell you.

Tomorrow night has to go better, right? If nothing else, the kids will be so exhausted after a full day of school that I can at least put them to bed uber-early.

Oct10

Choices

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Now that the kiddos are a little bit older, they have a lot of options for fun things they can do.  Too bad the Hubs and I have no idea what to pick for them!

Here is what we have been debating lately:

> Should Scorch play flag football or soccer?  Football is a new sport to Scorch, the season is shorter and it’s only offered once a year.  Soccer is the sport Scorch is familiar with, all his buddies are playing and the season spans 4 months.  Scorch isn’t much help- he doesn’t seem to care one way or the other.  The Hubs and I must have a dozen conversations about this before we finally decided to let Scorch try out football.  Scorch can play soccer 3 seasons out of the year, so it seemed to make the most sense to let him try football while it’s offered.  We’ll see how it goes!

> Scorch also came home with paperwork from school asking if he wanted to play violin.  The Hubs and I were (are) truly stumped about this one.  Scorch has never shown any interest in music before and when we ask him if he wants to learn, all he seems interested in is the fact that he can bring home an instrument every night. When we tell him he’ll have to practice and use the instrument every night, he doesn’t seem to grasp the concept nor does he seem interested.  So..do we shell out $34/month for something he may or may not care about or do we wait until he’s older and can make a more informed decision?

> Beaner, at age 3, is now old enough to sign up for dance. It’s a weekly commitment that lasts from Aug thru Dec (or Feb – May) that ends in a few recitals.  It’s not cheap and she doesn’t really show much interest one way or another. But…90% of the people I know with girls her age (or older) started their kids at age 3.   Again, right now we’re not signing her up until she’s older and can make a better decision her self- but I still worry that I’m screwing this up.

And this worry? It’s silly and neurotic and I know it.  If Scorch is meant to be a musician he will be whether he starts playing at age 5 or at age 7. Same for Bean and dance. But it knowing that it’s silly doesn’t stop me from wondering if we’re making the right choices.

Oct6

Love Thursday: The Neglected One

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Dear Bean-

It doesn’t seem fair that I wrote your brother a letter before he started Kindergarten but I never wrote you anything, does it? Then I come on here and complain about you and your crappy medicine taking skills for days. Being the second child stinks.

This morning I had to wake you up to get ready for school.  You are not a morning person (just like your Daddy) so I  honestly dread the days when you don’t get up on your own. Those are the days you typically refuse breakfast because I can’t read your mind to determine which plate you want to eat off of.  Heaven forbid you share that info with me to make life a little bit easier.

Anyhow- this morning after I work you up, you rolled over and asked if today was a school day. When I told you it was, you got a big grin and yelled “Awesome!”

And that, my dear, is how you’ve felt for the last two weeks of school. The first couple of weeks were rough, but now that you’ve got your friends (both boys, one of whom you’re married to) and you’re comfortable with the routine, you are just loving life.  And that makes my heart just about what to explode.

This year I wish so much for you, just like I wished so much for your brother. I wish you confidence. Realize that just because you’re one of the littlest people in a school that goes up to 6th grade, that doesn’t mean you should be over looked. I wish you the seeds of life long friendships. You’ll be going to school with some of the kids in your class until 12th grade.  I don’t expect you to find your BFF or true love in class, but I do hope when you’re my age you still have one friend who knew you in preschool like I do (hi Brian!).  I wish you the joy of learning.  I realize your day is 90% fun right now, and it should be- but your amazing teachers are sneaky and they work in quite a bit of education too. I hope you  latch right on to that and soak it all up.

But most of all, babes, I wish you happiness.  I hope you laugh every day and always wake up each day excited about what’s to come.

All my love,

Mom

Oct4

Admitting Defeat

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So..I’ve completely failed in my quest to get the Bean to take the medication for her ear infection.  The Hubs and I tried everything. We bribed, threatened and put her in time out.  We tried mixing it in every food possible and nothing. I couldn’t mask the taste enough and she flat out refused to take it.  Thankfully a re-check at the doctors again yesterday showed her ear was mending on its own, but I was reminded again how screwed we are.  I mean, if I can’t get my 3 year old to take her medicine now, how am I going to get my 16 year old to respect curfew?!

I mentioned this in my last post, but Beaner is 3 years old and I have still not found her kryptonite.  I haven’t found a single form of discipline that gets her attention.  Time outs? Meh.  Taking away toys? Who cares- she has 15 million others.  Losing privileges? Not a big deal- she can entertain herself just find with a stick and a piece of string. Who needs movies!

I also haven’t found anything that motivates her more then once.  She really doesn’t care about things, so the lure of a new toy doesn’t go far. She’s not food orientated, so M&M’s or other goodies not typically allowed in our home doesn’t get us anywhere.  I suppose I could ban her from hanging out with the cats or playing with her brother (her only loves), but that just seems crazy.

Thankfully in the cases of bad behavior, a combination of all of the above gets our point across 99% of the time. But when it comes to times when the Bean is flat out refusing to do something, like take her medicine, I honestly don’t have a clue. Do any of you?

Sep29

Dr. Mom, Medicine Woman

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There are days when I feel like I’m pretty damn good at this parenting thing.

Then there are days like today.

Last night the Bean woke up twice in the middle of the night saying her ear hurt.  The first time I got her to take her Tylenol without much fuss so this morning when it was time to dose her up before school I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal.

I am an idiot.

I first offered her the little cup to drink her medicine out of (grape flavored medicine she said she loved last night, mind you!). She wouldn’t have anything to do with it.  She flat out refused to even take 1 measly sip of the 1 tsp of medicine.  Fine- we’re pressed for time, so I put it into those medicine syringes and to give it to her.  It’s worked in the past- just get it in as far back as you can in her mouth and blow on her face while pushing in the plunger to make sure she’s swallowing. Easy peasy.

2 minutes later, the Bean is in the shower and I’m changing all my clothes because she spit every bit of that 1 freaking fracking tsp of medicine back out. She’s got it coating her neck and all in her hair and I’m wearing the rest of it on my clothes.  So much for getting to school on time- not happening with an hysterical 3 year old in the shower, a ticked off Mom scrounging for clean clothes and 5 year old who can’t stop laughing over the craziness.

So..the Bean finally gets showered and I’m dressed. We’re back to square 1.  I know her ear hurts because she keep cradling it, so she needs to have medicine before school. Period.  Now I just needed to figure out how to get her to drink it.

I tried explaining to her what was what- that she needed the medicine to make the boo-boo in her ear stop hurting.  She didn’t care.

Then I flat out told her- drink the medicine or else.  (Or else what, I have no idea. The kid doesn’t care if you put her in time out, take away her toys or ban her from the TV- she has no kryptonite as far as we can tell).  The Bean is not impressed.

Finally, it was time to bribe her.  Her weakness of choice? The forbidden fruit- soda. The watered-down dredges of our soda when we’re out to eat is the best thing ever according to the Bean, so I figured to be offered a few sips of her very own soda would be something she’d jump on.

I figured wrong.

It wasn’t until I sweetened the deal with the promise of donuts on the way to school that she finally, finally slugged that 1 tsp of medicine. That’s parenting at it’s finest right there.

*~*~*~*~

An afternoon trip to the doctor’s confirmed that Beaner does have an ear infection. That meant tonight before bed, I had to give her 2 medicines.  I’ll let you guess how well that went.

Sep27

Just a Girl

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Sometimes I forget that the Bean is a girl. From day 1, Scorch’s stuff- the dinosaurs, super heroes, truck and cars- have dominated our house. That’s just the way it goes since he’s older. Most of the time it doesn’t dawn on me to buy anything girly-girl for the Bean. The only reason this child has a tea set or Barbies is thanks to friends or family.

Most of the time, that’s just fine. Beaner wants to do what ever her big brother and his friends are doing. She doesn’t want to dance, she wants to play soccer! She’s happy to wear as much pink as you want to dress her in as long as she’s got on her sneaker so she can run. Her two BFFs at school are boys- even though I see the girls in her class trying very hard to be friends with her.

So you can imagine my surprise when the Bean came home yesterday and told me she got married to her BFF. She said it was her idea, so they two of them got married on the playground during recess. So very glad I dressed her in her nicest jeans- I’m hoping someone took a few pictures for the family album.

The Hubs is just hoping it wasn’t a true shotgun wedding.

Sep25

The Big Meanie, That’s Me

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As I type this, Scorch is in his room crying and talking trash about me (calling me a Big Meanie, he thinks he’s being quiet).  He’s mad because he lost one of his stuffed animals for a week.  Why? Because of his behavior.   Ever since our major family blow up a few weeks back, we’ve implemented a new policy.  The rules are set- there are only a 3 really big ones and when you break them you 1) go in time out and 2) lose something.  So Scorch broke one of the rules earlier (he told his sister he hated her), so he immediately lost the dessert we were sitting down to eat.  That went over about as well as you can expect. So he and I had a conversation about learning from our mistakes and making better choices.  Yet 5 minutes later, he told his sister the same thing.  I asked him to please pick one of this stuffed animals off his bed as it was now mine for the next week.

Oh, the humanity.

The funny this is, the boy has at least 20+ animal on his bed and if I had gone in and taking Froggy away without telling him, he’d never know he was gone.  Maybe this time he’ll learn?

~~~~~~~~~~

I have no good excuse for not blogging lately- just a lot of minor ones.  A fall cold (thanks, Bean!), busy evenings (including a much needed mid-week girl’s night), spending some time with the Hubs (so nice to have him home most nights), and being in bed by 9:30 every night.  A few weeks back, I started working out back at the gym. I couldn’t go while Pete was gone this summer, but now that he’s home, I’m trying to go to bootcamp class 3x a week and spinning 2x a week- all of which require me to get up before 5 am. I realize a lot of people have to do that every day, but I don’t and holy crap that is the middle of the night. But I’m trying my hardest, so that means early bedtimes so I don’t fall over mid-day.  They damn well better pay off is all I have to say.

 

 

Sep19

Finding Our New Normal

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Today marked the first day of our 2nd full week with the kids in school.  This new normal is being worn like a shirt that doesn’t quite fit.  We don’t not like it- Scorch loves school, the Bean is starting to and I’m enjoying having the house to myself- but it doesn’t feel quite right yet.  I’m sure that’ll come with time, but right now the mornings are still a tad too rushed, I’m still trying to find the best way to work around the kid’s school schedule and the kids are flat out tired at the end of the night.

Monday’s are our most fun night and our most tiring. I work 6 am – 2:45 pm so I don’t have to work after I pick the kids up.  The weather has been great, so the kids and I go to the park for an hour before going to swim lessons.  After lessons, we get home around 5:30, the kiddos have their baths and we all eat dinner so we can start bed time around 6:45.  Tonight the kids were more cranky then usual thanks to them waking up at 5:30 am, so I did what any smart mom would do to get us though the last few minutes before bedtime.  I showed my kids YouTube videos of cats doing funny things.  This one was our favorite– Scorch laughed so hard he got the hiccups.

Then I gave them the last bits of the homemade brownies we snagged from my parents last night and read Alfred’s Nose.  It’s a book about a dog, Alfred, who doesn’t like his tiny little pug nose and the fact that his tongue sticks out, so he decided to disguise himself.  The pictures are awesome and we all laughed so hard we had to read it again when the Hubs came home from work.

All in all a great night, I just can’t wait until this starts feeling routine.

*****

Completely random and off topic, but the Hubs and I went to the movies this weekend and saw Warrior.  I didn’t know anything about it except that it’s about two brothers who are Mixed Martial Arts fighters, so I had no idea what to expected.  Both the Hubs and I were completely blown away- we loved it!  There is a fat ton of MMA action in the movie but the stories were so well down and the fighting sequences, while brutal, were amazing.  It may be the best movie we’ve seen all year and we see a lot of movies!

 

Sep15

Love Thursday: Independence

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At least once a week either the Hubs or I will randomly throw out a name in the middle of conversation.

Jane?

Nah, I don’t like how it goes with our last name.

Neither one of us question what the other is talking about- we know.  These names are possible choices for our hypothetical 3rd child.  We’re not expecting another baby now, nor do we plan on adding to our brood anytime in the next year or so, but the thought is always there in the back of our heads.  Neither one of us know if our family is complete yet.

The hard part is, the longer we wait, the more I’m enjoying having older kids.  I was a wreck most of the past two weeks. Between Mary leaving and the kids starting school full time, I cried at least once a day. My babies- my precious babies going to school and leaving me alone in the house all day for the first time in 5 years! I thought for sure that them being gone was going to kick my baby fever into high gear and was mentally prepping the discussion the Hubs and I would have to have. But you know what? I love having the house to myself for 6 hours a day.  Flat out adore it.

Earlier this week the kids started swim lessons.  Scorch has been in lessons without me for the past 6 months, but I thought I still needed to get in the water with the Bean. Nope- I was able to sit on the side of the pool and just enjoy watching them swim.  It was heaven.

The kids dress themselves every morning. They pick up after themselves. They can tell me what they want, what hurts and why they are crying.  They are wonderful company and make me laugh with their observations and stories. I don’t have to wipe any more behinds and the only diapers in the house are here when Baby Lala is around. I don’t have to pack a diaper bag or bring my breast pump with me when I’m away from home for a long period of time.  And I’m enjoying all of that so much more then I thought I would.

The decision whether or not to have another baby hasn’t been made yet and I’m sure it won’t be for some time, but for now I’m just relishing the independence while hoping my kids don’t grow too fast!

 

Sep14

Dance Monkey, Dance!

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I may have mentioned a time or two that the Bean has a forceful personality.  She may only weigh 27 lbs, but heaven help you if you cross her.  Thankfully, bed time has become a much more pleasant time for us after a few weeks of sheer misery.  That said, one of the ways I’ve achieved this peace is by indulging Beaner in a few of her requests.  Frankly, it’s easier to give into the little things then battle her for 45 minutes over something so tiny.  So things have been going swimmingly until this week…

You see, this week I started Bootcamp classes.  I have aches in muscles I didn’t know I had.  Getting up off the couch takes time, I groan when I walk up the stairs and I vigorously swear at the class’s instructor in my head when I get out of bed.  Of course this is the time when Beaner’s requests have gone from “Can I go potty one more time?” to “sit on my lap Mommy so I can sign you a song!”  Have you ever tried to balance your body to “sit” on a 3 year old’s lap in a moving rocking chair (because the chair has to rock because it rocks when I sing to her)?  It ain’t easy.

That wasn’t even the worst part- the kicker came when it was time for me to sing to her.  Normally she sits on my lap on the rocker while we go through our 4 song medley.  But oh no- not tonight. It’s like she knows that I’m dying and wants to put the screws to me.

“Mommy, lay on the floor so I can lay on you and you sing to me.”

I did a quick mental debate in my head- was the agony I’d experience actually getting my body on the floor worse then the agony I’d deal with when I refused and the Bean lost her mind for 45 minutes? I decided to suck it up and gingerly, slowly, got down on the ground.  I admit, I moaned a few times in the process.  But I did it and told the Bean to lay down so we could sing.

“Actually Mommy, I want to rock in the chair.”

Sometimes I think the Bean just likes to screw with me.