Category Archives: Bean

Apr15

Harsh

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I am not your friend anymore!

Well, I am not your friend either!

That was a conversation we heard last night, complete with dirty looks and jutted hips, when we were at friend’s for dinner. These friends have a son in Scorch’s class and a daughter in the Bean’s class, so we see them quite frequently- it’s a huge bonus that we love hanging out with them.

Last night we showed up at their house for dinner- the boys darted off one way and the girls another. In no time at all the boys are play fighting, trying out the latest kung fu moves they picked up from TV. All is well until someone actually gets hurt. Tears flow, apologies are made, warnings are given and the boys are BFFs  again. Violent? Maybe. But simple and easy- there are no hard feelings.

But with the girls, it’s not so easy. They play wonderfully together for a good hour until it comes time to share something they both want. The girls don’t physically fight each other- but I worry their words do more damage. Threats of no longer being friends, telling each other they don’t like each other, evil stares from across the rooms as we parents talk to our respective kids. They are 3. It takes a few minutes, but thankfully they are back to being friends again soon.

But that meanness scares me. I realize that at 3, words are the only weapons kids have and I’m thrilled to see my Bean standing up for herself. But, I don’t want her to be a mean kid or to react meanly to those who aren’t nice to her. I don’t want her cutting people down- I want her to use her words to build people up, to talk through issues, to work out a plan to share the coveted toy. I realize that all that isn’t possible for a 3 year old and that those skills will evolve.  Until then, it’s the Hubs and my job to guide her not only with our words, but our actions as well. I make sure she and Scorch see us working on and resolving issues with kindness, fairness and empathy- not with harsh words and threats.

She’ll get there, I know she will- I just hope her words, and those of her friends, don’t get much sharper in the meantime.

 

 

Mar27

Blessed Be the School Secretaries

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The ongoing saga of getting medicine into Bean continues…

Last we left off, the Hubs and I were trying to get the powder from the capsules into her food so she’d ingest it. We were, at best, minimally successful, so I called the doctor’s Monday morning to see what else he could recommend. Honestly, I was hoping he’d suggest a shot of antibiotic because frankly, it would have been easier on all of us.  But, he didn’t- instead we decided on an antibiotic that could be easily flavored in the hopes of at least getting her to choke it down.

It took her 45 minutes, 3 meltdowns, countless threats of being held down so the medicine could be squirted in her mouth*, a half a bag of M&M and some cheese balls for her to take about 3/4 of it.  I promised her I’d get her more goodies if only she’d take her medicine.  That is why I found myself at a gas station at 6:30 this morning, sweaty and yucky from working out, stocking up on soda, M&Ms, and munchkins from Dunkin Dounuts. And even after all that, we only got 1/2 of her dose (which is only 1 tsp mind you) down her.

So I did what any desperate, out-of-ideas parent would do.

I took the Bean’s medicine to school and begged the school secretaries to give her her medicine at lunch time. I stressed that she probably wouldn’t take it and for them not to stress out about it, but if they could give it a try I’d be eternally grateful. I left the school convinced this was going to end badly for them and the Bean.

When I went back to school that afternoon to get the medicine from the office, the secretaries told me she took it all without a fuss.

Of course she did- because she’s out to give me a nervous breakdown and to make me look like a fool in front of the school staff. The Bean is so lucky she’s so darn cute.

 

Mar25

Little Snot

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The Bean has had a rather rough weekend.

She woke up Saturday unhappy- her PJs weren’t comfy, she didn’t want to watch anything on TV, she didn’t want to play a game, she had to go potty put didn’t want to get up and on and on and on.  At first I chalked it up to her not getting enough sleep and being mad at the Hubs and I for leaving her with a sitter Friday night but about an hour after getting up, she laid down on the kitchen floor, burst into tears and told me her throat hurt.  We were at the doctor’s an hour later to confirm that the Bean had strep throat.

The Bean sobbed the entire 15 minute car ride home because strep throat meant missing her best friend’s birthday party that morning.  A party that promised her closest friends, bouncing in bounce house and cake- all before noon.  She was heartbroken to miss out on the fun.

To add insult to injury (or in this case, illness), the Hubs and I have spent all weekend long trying to sneak the Bean her medicine. I’ve chronicled our complete failure at getting the Bean to take liquid medicine , so her doctor and I agreed that getting her antibiotic in capsule form may be easier. This way I could just break apart the capsule and sneak the powder into her food- easy peasy.

Hahahahahahaha….clearly, I’m overly optimistic.

First, no matter how we pulverize the damn powder, I can’t get it fine enough to blend into her drinks- it floats on top. She doesn’t like the consistency in her food even though we’ve tried everything- including the brilliant idea of crumbling oreos into her pudding to mask the grittiness.  We’ve managed to get a lot of the meds down her, but it’s been a battle- the poor Bean doesn’t want to eat anything we give her anymore because she’s sure we put meds in it now.

She finally lost it before bedtime and just cried and cried. She’s normally a tough cookie, so I was feeling horribly for her. I laid down next to her and we were having a sweet little conversation about how I’m glad she felt better and the importance of medicine and how proud I was of her for being so brave. During the talk she’s cuddling against me- a rarity in itself- when she snuggled her head in closer to my shoulder. I asked her if she was getting comfortable and she said, “nope, I’m just wiping my boogers on you.”

Of course she is. So glad she’s feeling better and back to her charming self.

 

Feb27

That Stinks

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Unlike a lot of the girls we know, Bean has never gotten into the princess thing.  But she does love Tinkerbell.  The problem is she calls Tinkerbell, Stinkerbell- she just can’t wrap her tongue around the “T” yet.

Scorch has made it his mission in life to help her get it right. Refrains of  “say “t-t-t-t-tink” can be heard multiple times a day around the house.  When she breaks the word up and gets it right, he rejoices like she just found a cure for cancer.  It’s adorable!

As for me, I’m not encouraging her to get it right yet. I have one kid who is reading and getting ready to play Little League and who is frankly too darn heavy for me to carry around any more. My baby doesn’t want to be rocked before bed any more and thinks nothing of going over to a friend’s house without the Hubs or I (something Scorch wouldn’t do until last summer!), so I’m holding on to what ever I can!

 

Feb22

Not Our Best Day

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So…today? Not a great day.

The kids were good as gold this morning. I remember sitting there patting myself on the back because they were being such angels. Since school is on break this week, they got to spend the day at their BFFs house (thankfully their BFFs are siblings the same age as my kids).  I received frequent texts throughout the day telling me what great guests my kids were, how wonderfully the kids were playing, what good manner they hand and on and on.

I picked my kids up 15 minutes before the mom had a phone call she needed to take for work. Before dropping the kids off that morning, I prepped them for that- they knew when I showed up we had to hustle out of there. They agreed to it- but as most things with kids, the theory works out a lot better then the practice.

When I showed up Scorch flat out refused to leave. He sat on the playroom floor with his arms crossed and big tears rolling down his cheeks- he wanted to stay and that was that.   Well, so sad for him because that wasn’t that.  After coaxing him off the floor, out of the room and down the stairs we had to pause for the Bean to put on her shoes. That’s when Scorch made a break for it- he wanted to play some more. *sigh*  So I got the Bean situated and out the door and then went to get Scorch. I kid you not when I tell you I had to 1) carry him out the door and 2) pry his fingers off the door jam as his sobbed and screamed that he didn’t want to go.

Hi! Mortification? So nice to see you again.

I set him down on the porch and the wild animal who replaced my son screamed at me “I hate you!” loud enough for the whole entire neighborhood to hear.  So- I did what any rational parent would do. I sat my kid down in the drizzle in the muddy grass and made him sit there in time out on our friends wet lawn while I got the Bean in the car. I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry at that point, so I just ignored him while I collected myself.

Unfortunately after that fun, we didn’t have time to go home. We had a bunch of errands to run that included a stop at the library. Thankfully Scorch pulled himself together by the time we arrived there because the Bean decided to assert herself. Some how, over night, the Bean lost her ability to whisper. So everything- everything- in the library was said as loudly as possible. If I asked her to lower the volume, she cranked it up a notch.  Thank goodness we were in the Children’s room and her volume wasn’t out of place, but the defiance just about killed me.

Between the scene at our friends house, the errands in between and our 45 minute stop at the library, I had already sweated through my t-shirt. But we weren’t done- oh no. We still had to go to Ash Wednesday Mass at the local college.

Due to the Hub’s work schedule, I was flying solo at this mass, something I try to avoid like mad. But it was this mass or not being able to go at all, so I sucked it up. I figured since it was a college campus, mass wouldn’t be crowded. Yeah- wrong. There was no parking, so by the time we found a spot we were running late.  We hiked it in the pouring rain to the chapel and realized after we got there that I forgot the kid’s backpack with all their church toys (coloring books, crayons, snacks, etc). I had nothing in my purse besides my wallet, tissues and empty gum wrappers- and I had to make all that entertaining enough to last us an hour.

So that’s how I sweated through my sweater all while playing RockPaperSissors with Scorch and having thumb wars with the Bean for 60+ minutes. Thankfully most college kids think little kids are cute and don’t seem to mind having their pews kicked, hair accidentally pulled and potty words sung out loud during Communion.

Tomorrow has got to be easier, right?!

Feb17

Delusions of Grandeur

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I’ve likened raising the Bean with trying to appease a drunk, mentally ill dictator who is off her meds.  Mind you, she’s not like this all the time, but when she is, she is flat out convinced she rules the world and that we, her family, are simply here to cater to her every whim. Tonight was one of those nights.

This was the conversation I heard between her and the Hubs as he tried to put her to bed.

“Daddy- sing me “You Are My Sunshine.”

“No- not like that. Plug your nose and sing.”

“No– not like that. Plug your nose and sing it loud.”

“Louder.”

“I said,louder!”

“Now, rock me.”

“Faster.”

“Start over singing AND rock me at same time.”

“No, you can’t leave yet. I’m not tired.”

“Well, if you leave now, I’m going to wake Scorch”

“Oh yes I am- you can’t stop me.”

At this point, the Hubs firmly tells her to go to bed and leaves to the room because he doesn’t want her to see him laughing at her craziness.  I’m waiting in the hallway to see what she does next and sure enough, she comes out of her room.

Bean- bed. now.

“Fight me.”

What?

“Fight me! I know Kung Fu!”

And, I kid you not, she started doing her best Kung Fu Panda moves across the floor. That’s when I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard to say a word. The good news is, she never went to wake up her (blissfully) sleeping brother. The bad news is, I think she’s plotting new forms of torture for tomorrow night.

Feb14

Umm…Wrong Body Part

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MOOOOOOM- oh my gosh! MOM- I have a nip.ple on my arm!  Come see!!!!

“You have a WHAT on your WHERE, Bean?”

A nip.ple. On my arm. It’s awe-some!

She rushes over to me, her sleeve pulled up so far her whole shirt is bunched under her armpit. Beaner is practically dancing with excitement while I wonder what in the world my child is talking about.

There- you see?! I have a nip.ple right there!!!

“Oh….you mean a mole. You have a mole on your arm, sweetie!”

Yeah- a mole. That’s what I said.

Clearly we need to work on our body part identifications!

~*~*~*~

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope your day was as filled with love and laughter as mine!

Feb13

You Say Jump…

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See that picture? That’s a picture of Scorch trying his darndest to help the Bean’s sled go further after her attempt down the hill didn’t take her as far as she wanted. The problem? He’s actually pushing her up a slight incline. Why is he doing this- slipping, sliding and sweating the whole time? Because she started to throw a fit when we both told her no two minute earlier.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is an issue.

If I haven’t made it clear here before, let me state again that the Bean is not just smart, but she’s clever. She knows how to get to someone and will press on that weakness until you’re ready to beg for mercy. And Scorch cannot stand to see her throwing a fit 90% of the time.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said no to the Bean over something-no, you can’t have another cookie. no, I’m taking the sword away because you’ve impaled your brother too many time.no, I’m not making a 3rd breakfast for you because you’ve decided that you no longer wants toast/eggs/waffles/whatever-and she’s dissolved into a shrieking, screaming, frothing-at-the-mouth hell hound demanding I give her whatever she wants. Now. Or Else.

I don’t negotiate with terrorists, so when I say no, I mean no.  But Scorch, being the sucker that he is, can’t stand seeing Bean so unhappy and hearing all her racket, so next thing I know I have the Bean screaming at me because she’s mad and Scorch screaming at me to give her what ever it is she wants just to quiet her down for Pete’s sake!

It’s fun, is what I’m telling you.

I find myself explaining to the Bean- again- why she’s not getting what she wants and then having to defend my actions to Scorch, rationalizing why I’m not attempting to tame my wild child and instead letting her scream so loudly that our ears ring. And while the Bean is screaming, she’s also playing close attention. This week alone she got the aforementioned push up the hill, Scorch’s site word ring from school, a beloved football and one of his prized stuff animals all thru the power of her scream.

If that boy doesn’t wise up soon, he’s screwed.

Feb7

Slice of Life: School Pickup

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There is really no point to this post- it’s just a slice of our life. I just needed to get words on paper again after a small break and this if the first thing that came out….

~*~*~*~

Like clockwork, I’m at the kid’s school at 3 pm every day to pick them up and bring them home.

The routine is always the same. I stop in the Bean’s classroom first as she’s the most likely to freak out if I’m late. I check in, say hello and see if she wants to come with me to get her big brother in his classroom. Some days she’s simply too busy to bother me with me and other days she clings to my like like a monkey who hasn’t seen her mommy in days.

Our walk to Scorch’s classroom can be fun- she can be skipping or hopping and chattering away about all the great things she did that day. Or she could wrap herself around my neck and not say a word as we walk the halls. Being a 3 year old in school full time is exhausting. If she’s quiet and tired I try to joke her out of it with tickles and funny stories. Some days it works and other days I just make her mad. We frequently run into some of the older kids in the school who seem to think the Bean is their personal baby doll come to life- they dote on her and love her up all while she ignores them and plays shy. I’m told she talks to these girls during the day, but when I’m around she’s mute regardless of her mood.

When we arrive to Scorch’s classroom, I say hello to his teacher and peek my head in his room to tell it’s time to go.  The boy is always talking when I see him- always animated and smiling and laughing. He won’t leave until his conversation is finished and he’s said all his goodbyes. It’s impossible to hurry him along, so most of the time I stand there and watch my little ray of joy dance around with his friends.

On our walk back through the school to our car, Scorch can’t bother to walk with us. He’s too busy high-fiving the 6th graders and saying hello to everyone he sees. I really don’t think the boy has ever met a stranger and the Bean’s teacher calls Scorch the Mayor of the school because he knows everyone.  I admit to getting frustrated with the dwaddling and talking when I’m trying to herd my kids out the door- I have to go to work, get a move on! Keep up!- but part of me is so happy to see Scorch blossom and love school so much.

Once we finally- slowly- get to our car, it’s another adventure as the Bean comes alive. Is she going to be bubbly and sweet and happy or is keeping it together all day in school finally going to prove to be too much? There have been time she’s screamed and cried so loud in the parking lot as I’m trying to buckle her in her seat, I’ve honestly thought other parent was going to send a teacher out to investigate.  If she’s raging, that may last the whole 9 minute car ride home. Or it can be over in the blink of an eye. You just never know- I guess that’s what makes every day an adventure.

 

 

Jan22

Mocking Bird

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Typically when I don’t post here, things are either really good (see: Christmas break) or really bad (relatively speaking). This past week+ has been bad.  Sleep has been beyond miserable thanks to Scorch and his continued fear of Kitty Galore. A month and a half ago, my kids were in bed, asleep, by 7:45 or 8 most nights.  Now we’re lucky if they are in bed, asleep, before 10. And forget sleeping through the night- I think I can count on one hand the number of times that’s happened since mid-December.

In short, we’re all exhausted and cranky.

Like I mentioned before, the problem isn’t nightmares as much as it is Scorch laying in bed freaking himself out thinking about scary things. Out of desperation I shared all this with some of my best online friends last week as we had gone through everything the Hubs and I could think of. One friend recommended a meditation CD for kids.  I was desperate, so I bought it right then and there (love you, iTunes!) and we tried it that night.

Scorch was asleep within 10 minutes.  I almost cried I was so happy. Evidently having something to occupy his smart, sweet brain was what he really needed to keep his mind off of scary things.  We had great success the 2nd night and since then it’s been a bit more hit and miss, but things are much better then they were before.

The CD really is lovely – the voice speaking is incredible smoothing and she speaks in a very soft, sing-songy cadence asking the listener to envision different things (you’re sailing on a ship, you’re in a garden) and Scorch loves it. I can’t recommend it enough…unless your child has a sibling like the Bean.

This morning Bean took away Scorch’s favorite toy while he wasn’t paying attention. He threw a total fit and without missing a beat, the Bean started to mimic the tone and rhythm of the meditation CD. “Picture your dragon, Scorch. What color is your dragon? Is he flying?” and on and on. Scorch started laughing so hard he let her keep his toys.